elevation

Hey there, yuuki! I'll be reviewing this poem of yours today, here it goes~

Firstly, I must express how much I love the colors and italics! It really gives a graphical feeling to the entire thing, and mesmerized you to keep on reading. Great job on that!

i'm drowning
in all these disapproving looks

the thoughts that slowly eat away

I see the narrative starts out somewhat bleak. I sense the dark color is supposed to complement that? I especially like the duality of these lines- how the narrator faces hostility from outside (disapproving looks) and inside (thoughts). It really seems like there's no one on their side, you know? I wonder if things will get better for them as we proceed..

i have to catch you
you might leave me behind
you'll forget about me

Such a realistic scenario! The troubled narrator finally has some hope and so they desperately grasp at the chance of a happy life through their lover. I find it sad, that they're so broken. At the same time, I feel bad for the subject who's being pulled into this burden of having to console someone when it's not really their responsibility. It's a lose-lose situation, really.

please please please don't forget about me and please
please don't leave me here

Normally I would've said the long bits hang awkwardly but I tried reading it in a pleading voice and I think the break has a significance since it represents a change in tone? I found that to be a nice surprise, it certainly works well!

i'm drowning
but you
you're there and you
you don't hesitate to pull me out
out of this dark

I love this for the narrator! It seems like the lover is good for them, and is happy to help. I like the intended imagery here that the narrator was 'drowning in darkness', since it's heavily suggested yet never stated explicitly. It appears like a treat to have dug out!

this dark place
this cave this,
this planet

I very much like how it appears we're zooming out here, as if it's the trajectory with which the lover is taking away the narrator out of a world where they never belonged. Poetic indeed <3

you bring me somewhere nobody has ever seen and i finally feel...
i finally feel something

I wonder if this feeling is freedom at finally escaping their hellish life, or love for the subject for having saved them so. I suppose it's a blend of the two, and that's beautiful

This was great yuuki, albeit a little too simple. The narrative is very magnetic and relatable but it feels like it's not saying anything new, you know? I feel like such an easy concept could've been made more challenging to write and rewarding to read by giving it a fixed rhyme. You're doing amazing, I hope you try something more creative the next time around because that's the way you grow into an even better poet. This was captivating, thanks for sharing. Keep writing, I hope to read more from you soon! Until then~

Love, Alex