Am I a fool for you?
because I would be your magician;
your high priestess
or your empress; but i'm not a girl,
so your emperor, I suppose.
I could be your priest, your hierophant.
And we could be lovers.
I present you with this chariot,
anything
and the strength you need
to keep going,
I am a hermit,
searching,
searching,
searching for you
despite the fact that this is all a circle,
a wheel that never ends.
I need justice for the fact that,
despite all I have done they have hanged me.
I am a hanged man
and death is coming for me.
your temperance is the only devil,
my only fear,
and it looms, towers over me.
I look at the stars and I see the moon,
and then I see you.
the sun.
and with my skewed judgment, I perceive you
as my world.
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142,603 Literary Works • 679,059 Reviews
Hi Yuuki! Noirmont here to review.
It grounds the narrator back into reality through giving them a certain skepticism towards their perception of this other person. Sort of a step back from a dream, if you will. I like it a lot. It adds another layer of nuance to your work.There's a certain grandeur to this piece that I very much appreciate. When there is someone that we care for deeply, it can be very natural to put them on a metaphorical pedestal, and I think you've captured that notion well. What makes your work particularly interesting, however, is that you are acutely aware of the fact that you're doing this (or so the last couple of lines suggest):
The invocation of tarot cards as imagery is great! It's really creative and bolsters that regal quality that I mentioned above. You tie each individual card together quite nicely. I am partial to this particular transition: The repetition of "searching" here amplifies the introduction of the wheel and emphasizes its infinite spinning well. It creates some hopelessness that's in line with the power dynamic you've created between this mystery person and yourself. It's a relationship that's established very well but still has some mysterious qualities, which I can always appreciate in poetry.
I enjoyed reading your piece! I am looking forward to seeing what you create next.