Blankness of a portrait, juice without its sweetness
The stairs without the next step, but hope remains.
Sight for miles is nothing without a vision.
The light beyond the sun is dedicated to those
Who have vision to reach beyond the stars of the universe
Emphasis with detail,on strokes of a brush
Steps taken to reach the star’s light of beyond
Attributes willing to magnify the portrait
To sweeten the juice, to step without worry of the next
Then, and only then the light of beyond opens for those who seek.
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142,259 Literary Works • 677,099 Reviews
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
.Am moon!!!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This poem is beautiful.I think this poem is about having a vision for our future and working towards it instead of giving up. I understood that simply having dreams isn't enough; we also need to take steps to achieve them. And i also like the title.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I don't have suggestion.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I love this whole poem it has good message and my favorite line is
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
I love this poem. Keep writing!! Thank you for sharing.
Namaste this is shakthi and here is my review
I quite like the narrative style of this poem and the examples used to convey its message. Juice without sweetness and stairs without the next step are both frustrating situations. Much like life without purpose or actions without vision, we may keep moving without really knowing where we are headed. And that is when we sometimes make decisions that leave us wondering what went wrong!
The line “The light beyond the sun is dedicated to those who have vision to reach beyond the stars of the universe” is my favourite. I like the idea that there is always something beyond what we can see, provided we have the vision to look for it. After all, dreaming big costs nothing, though achieving those dreams is a different story!
I also like how the poem connects vision with action. A portrait needs its finishing touches, juice needs its sweetness, and life needs a sense of direction. I did feel that a few lines could flow more naturally, but the message is thoughtful and encouraging. Having a vision is a good start, but we still have to take the next step, even when life forgets to show us where it is.
this was my review on your poem ..keep going
TYYYYY