Ahhhhhhh! I cant even understand what the chapter is going to tell. That's the one of the hardest things most of we girls don't like and that's maths of course but i know one secret about it, which i have found after researching a lot. FOR your kind information i wanna tell you my name is JULIA remember it or else you will have have so much problems in future. NOT WELL where we were, yes that secret was non other than practice, practice, and practice i know no one will like writing an hour long sitting making their back going to crack.
NOW let's start with a quick review of my little life what you are going to look at all the time.
My name is Julia again.Iam in 10 grade now sorry but the 6 months of my stressful life had passed away.happily i don't have any friends as you are assuming in a story but its Not a story it a life that was once full of joy and now had become an ocean of sorrowfulness.Well now we have talked so much till here i know life is not easy for every one all faces some time we may have to face some happy moments and sometime not.BUT the main adjective of the life is to always be happy. Actually sadness never goes but we only find a way smile.
Ok now my teacher has arrived i will meet you after the class. Well so,so,so the class has ended now.And i am not that excited for the next class . as per i told you that i don't like maths that much but i like solving it. the happiness of knowing all the things in the exam is on another level. Yah i know you have guessed it now that i am a student who wants to be great and want's to achieve something in her life.BRO students life is not that easy as it seems and it has become so hard in the present day. The competition between a crores of people only for a seat does looks like a mad think bt all of them are not working hardly some of them are just doing it under pressure of parents and society that's why when we see deep inside we only find out only a few of them are really doing and working hard. ok now i will not dive inside the topic.
i am also in such a crowd of students looking like a folk of sheeps in which i am the only one who dont know whom to believe because everyone is doing hard and no ne wants another person to be behind and wants anyone to go head of them. In all this sheep walk i found a real friend. SHE is a gorgeous, kind hearted person.I will not say that most of the writers write about their friend as i am telling my story i will say the truth.
CHAPTER- 1
THE FRIEND
i was 11 years old when i firstly entered the school , it wa 30th of April 2022. i still remember the date how samrat i am. yah back to the story. so it was my first day when i went to my class which is 6th B. I ENTERED nad bam all the girls present in my class were surprised. They were looking at me like i am an alien. But i know it was genuine for all human race. when ever they saw a new creature near them the are what type of creature are you. And i tell you the way the are gazing at me was a scene of a movie. Well it is not their fault as i am so much handsome and good looking they would of course get jealous of me. HAH! WOMEN.
SO THE FIRST DAY i met a girl who seemed to be very sweet and kind to me. AS ALL THE OTHER STUDENTS DO when they saw a new student. i hadn't brought proper books as i don't know what books re going to studied, so i shared most of them from that girl. Also a high maintenance skill of human race. I don't like it. HAH ! THE HUMNS ARE A SHOW OFF BACTERIA BUT HE DIFFERENCE IS BACTERIA DONT HAVE NUCLEUS AND HUMANS DONT HAVE COMMON SENSE. .
Days passed and after a week or two later she arrived.(Audience belike: at last she showed up) A TEACHER OF MINE who teaches us sanskrit those days told me to took her my classroom. I moved my head in agree-ness and i took her with me. Genuinely from starting i looked at her character and think that what kind of girl is she.AGAIN i say to you it is human character to make judgement at a first glance. A reason is that we didn't knew each other that much at starting. And we had just met is not a moment more and she grabbed my hand. She just grabbed my hand and inside me a bunch of questions were roaming around my head.
my brain really stopped working. I was like, what is this bro, what is this! I was still hesitating to talk to her and she was behaving with me like she was my old friend and we are walking in a garden.
Well ,well ,well my sweet little heart was almost had gone into trauma of that incident.
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142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
Hi there, ziya! Welcome to the site! <3
First of all, I really like how much personality this has! The narrator’s voice is very energetic and honest, and that makes the writing feel alive. It feels like Julia is talking directly to the reader, like she is telling me everything going on in her mind as she is explaining what happened. That kind of strong voice is a really good thing to have as a writer because it makes the story feel personal instead of flat. Nice!
I also like that the story seems to be about school life, pressure, friendship, and growing up. Those are very relatable topics, especially the part about studies being stressful and the pressure students feel from parents and society. I have been there before! I think a lot of readers would understand that feeling. The idea that Julia is surrounded by many students but still feels unsure who to trust is also interesting, because it sets up the importance of finding one real friend. I hope that can develop for her!
My biggest suggestion would be to slow down and focus on one main moment at a time. You move rather quickly from idea to idea, so it is difficult to understand what Julia really thinks about a particular moment. She does not seem to like math, but why? As a reader, I wanted a little more time to understand each part before moving to the next. For example, the chapter could begin with Julia entering the classroom for the first time, feeling nervous, and seeing everyone stare at her. Then the next scene could show her meeting the first kind girl. Then the next scene could introduce the friend who grabs her hand. Taking it step by step would make the story easier to follow!
Another thing to work on is making the chapter clearer. Right now, the narrator’s thoughts jump around a lot, which does match Julia’s energetic personality, but sometimes it becomes a little confusing. One helpful writing tip is to ask, what is the most important thing happening in this scene? If the scene is about Julia meeting her friend, try to keep most of the paragraph focused on that meeting. You can still add jokes and side comments, but the main event should stay clear on why she is doing a certain action.
Overall, I love the theme here! I am not a big slice-of-life reader, but it is nice to see a story about something like that once in a while. My advice would be to read slowly after you write to catch some grammar/spelling mistakes c: Besides that, I am excited to follow Julia and perhaps see more of her day-to-day school life?
Let me know if you have any questions! Keep writing!
Aislynn
First of all, I really want to thank you for your appreciation. It's my pleasure that I can connect with you.
And also thank you for the suggestion. I am also thinking that the thinking of Julia is very fast, and I am still working on the story. You will find the improved version soon. Please keep waiting
It's good and I think there is great potential for something great here. Although there are a few mistakes and the paragraphs could certainly be improved in many different ways, I believe you have made a great start. I think using the third person would really improve character dynamics. A lot of the sentences either need commas or joining together with use of a semi colon to allow it to flow properly.
Keep going and good work so far, it really gives an insight to you as a person also!
Thank you very much for your review. It will definitely help me a lot, but can you please also tell me about the story? I mean, did you like reading it as a reader?. how do you feel