BevW2712

I absolutely love this. I love the way you've captured the moon. The way you have managed to personify it and give it emotions is brilliant. The piece utilizes a ...

Hi! First of all, well done! "and despite her not moving her body was shaking," - I would add a comma after not moving as the first section is extra ...

It's good and I think there is great potential for something great here. Although there are a few mistakes and the paragraphs could certainly be improved in many different ways, ...