Once, the Moon fell in love with the Ocean.
It happened quietly.
So quietly that even the stars didn't notice at first.
The Ocean was the first one who ever told him that he was beautiful.
“You shine differently,” she had whispered one night, her waves moving gently beneath his light.
The Moon had blushed behind a cloud.
No one had ever said that to him before.
He had always thought the Sun was the beautiful one.
Bright.
Warm.
Loved by everyone.
But the Ocean made him feel beautiful.
So he began waiting for night.
Not because he loved the darkness,
but because that was when she appeared.
Every night, he watched her.
He watched her waves dance beneath his silver light.
He watched her glitter whenever he touched her surface.
And slowly,
without even realizing it,
the Moon fell hopelessly in love.
But he was shy.
He never told her.
Instead, he always waited for the night so he could make his stars glitter across her surface.
And the Ocean never seemed to notice.
Or perhaps she did.
Perhaps the waves knew before he did.
Whenever the Moon leaned closer to admire himself in the Ocean's reflection, the waves would rise and break his face apart.
Again.
And again.
And again.
“Why do you keep doing that?” the Moon asked one night.
The waves only rushed toward him.
They scattered his reflection into hundreds of trembling pieces,
as if they were trying to tell him,
'She loves someone else.'
But the Moon was so blind with love.
He thought the waves were just jealous of his love for her, distracting him so they could keep the Ocean to themselves.
But the Moon didn't care; he only loved her harder.
He never saw what happened in the morning.
He never saw the way the Ocean turned golden when the Sun kissed her.
He never saw how happily she shimmered beneath his warmth.
He only knew the Ocean he met at night.
The Ocean who looked silver.
The Ocean who spoke softly.
The Ocean who once told him,
“You are beautiful.”
And so, every night,
the Moon returned.
The waves kept breaking his reflection.
The tides kept whispering what he refused to hear.
Yet he stayed.
Because when you are blinded by love,
even a warning can look like hope.
And perhaps the saddest part was not that the Ocean never loved him.
It was that every night,
she still reflected his light,
as if he were the only one she could see.
And the innocent Moon still hoped that one day, she would love him back...
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Okay, wow. This was beautiful. I loved how you made a dirillusional moon, because that's exactly what love feels like when the person you truly love, loves someone else. It's truly heartbreaking. And the fact that you made us love the ocean because she had complimented the moon is even worse.
"He watched her glitter whenever he touched her surface.
And slowly,
without even realizing it,
the Moon fell hopelessly in love."
I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is when you reread it knowing full well that the ocean doesn't in fact like the moon back.
This was a really sweet and truthful poem, great work!
Thank you so much. Check my other poems too
Hello!
Oh wow, I really liked this poem!!! It is really deep and so sad... ToT
At first, I thought: yay! The moon likes the ocean and the ocean likes the moon! And then, slowly, I realised that something was off, because of how the waves kept breaking the moon's reflection, and then the ocean actually liked the sun! ToT ToT ToT That was actually unexpected for me, I was thinking: "Ooooh who is it that the ocean likes?" Which makes it even sadder because the moon actually thought that the sun was the beautiful one, and... *sobs histerically*
A few things I really liked were the way you transitioned really smoothly, almost as if - or really - playing with the reader's emotions. That was so good! I also liked the metaphor of the moon, the ocean and the sun, with little details like the glitter and the waves. I liked how you ended with a short text where you explained some things, that was a great ending too!
And, I think my favorite part was the plot twist. When you say:
The reader has a sort of twist in the stomach, and then it only tightens when you continue on with the rest and *resumes sobbing* do not mind me...
This was a part where I was slightly confused. First I thought, what do you mean the ocean only appears at night? And then a while later I realised, aaah you mean the moon only appears at night! But it does sound a bit strange, she waited for the times when she appeared... because technically, the moon and the ocean are always there, looking at each other, on different parts of the globe; but as this is a sort of image/metaphor, that is fine. However, it might break the flow of your poem a bit, because then I wondered, isn't it a bit strange that the moon "waits for the time when she appears"? Like, she is in some sort of limbo where she sees everything (so that is how she knows about the sun) and then she sort of appears above Earth??
Anyways, that part confused me a bit but it was also the only part where everything was not perfect =) - I felt. Maybe you could change it to, that was the time when the moon and the ocean were alone, by which you mean the sun was not there or something? Yeah I do not know, you really don't have to follow my suggestions if you do not want to, your poem is really great as it is.
Overall, I loved your work and I hope to be reading some more soon! Keep writing and have a wonderful day
- HMMHhehe the potato
Oh wait no sorry in my suggestion I wrote something wrong ToT
It is because I speak french where 'she' is the moon, so I thought you meant the moon and aaaaaaaaaaah
Sorry!
Its ok..
Thank you =D
I absolutely love this. I love the way you've captured the moon. The way you have managed to personify it and give it emotions is brilliant.
The piece utilizes a poetic, minimalist structure with short, isolated lines. This creates a quiet, echoing pace that mimics the vastness of space and the sea. The repetition of the waves breaking the reflection reinforces the cyclical, exhausting nature of the Moon's unrequited loop, just as always does.
Absolutely well done, I cannot wait to read more of your work.
Thank you so much