Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
142,249 Literary Works • 677,084 Reviews
Text:
Let me return to the days when I lived with less breath,
When the stretch of my skin felt warm.
Let me return to my pallor, when I lived without the sun,
When the moon contained all the prana my soul needed to subsist.
I will never be able to write words as beautiful as I see,
I will never be able to see words as beautiful as I feel.
And I will never experience pain as deep as I search for.
Honest, first glance, this is a beautiful poem. It's all kind of vague but I think that substantially contributes to the whole purpose and vibe of the poem. I especially like how to words wrap around themselves but are still readable - in my perspective, it completely reflects a jumble of thoughts, overlapping one another. But the thing that really hit me the most about this poem was the last three sentences:
"I will never be able to write words as beautiful as I see.
I will never be able to see words as beautiful as I feel.
And I will never experience pain as deep as I search for."
This is an absolutely beautiful piece of this poetry. Whether it's about poetry, real life, or even your own thoughts, it captures absolutely all of it in just three lines.
The only thing I might critique would be the mentions of the sun and the moon, which are just commonly cliched objects - but otherwise, this poem has massive potential that really pulled at not only my heartstrings but my sense of reason. Please make more poems like this!
Yaho Ellie! I must review something because I was done for the day but I can't let my reviews sit at 67 in good faith.
I think this is a very good poem very well written. But that's what everyone says. I can't tell it the words are supposed to be in a shape, or if I'm just a little dumb. I love the colorful language you used in this, I had to look up a bunch of words but I thought it sounded nice in my head.
this is so real, even me looking at this poem, I compare myself to all of the things I see and think I'll never be as good as them.
anyway, really nice poem I enjoyed it a lot!
~ yuuki the dinosoor