This tree has roots and this tree has branches
To the high sky, its green canopy launches
This tree has a trunk with the thickest of barks
The trunk has your initials amongst its many marks.
This tree has insects, scrambling left and right
Bathed in the deep glow of midday sunlight
This tree has birds, nestled amongst the wood
With nests from many twigs, that once on the tree stood.
You can hear these birds, on very early mornings
Singing even louder on the lushest of springs
You can see this tree when you come home
This tree never leaves, no matter how far you roam.
This tree will grow, and you will grow with it
It'll see you try and it'll see you quit
It has seen you toddler, you have seen it sapling
You'll see it strong, it'll see you working.
One day you'll leave
this house where you were born
This garden where high
this tree's branches have soarn
You will leave for
a better house in town
This tree,
the new owner
will cut
down.
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142,257 Literary Works • 677,096 Reviews
> I really liked how you made the tree feel like more than just a tree. It feels like it grows alongside the person and watches all the stages of their life, which made the ending hit harder. I honestly felt kind of sad when I reached the last few lines because after everything the tree had seen, it was just going to be cut down. I also liked the repetition of “This tree has…” because it gives the poem a steady rhythm and makes all the memories build up. Overall, the ending was definitely the part that stayed with me.
Thank you!
Alright, next poem, I can do this!
I am not quite sure how to read it to keep the rhythm?Hmm after several chapters of yours that prominently feature trees, no wonder that you’d write poetry abt trees too :3
I rly like how you continuously refer to the tree as “this” tree :3
I do like the rhymes you have going, I feel like they are very easily noticeable and readable. But that also means that when things don’t quite rhyme, it becomes quite noticeable. Like here:
Shouldn’t it be “toddle” not “toddler”? Unless we are talking abt the child of the addressee? But then it should’ve been “your toddler”, considering the next line is abt the tree’s children (the saplings)—so it sounds like you’re striking a comparison here? :3
Oh man, well that is a sad end to the poem. I love how the final stanza feels like a funnel with less and less words in each line. That is super effective!
I also had to think abt that magical tree in one of the stories I read on YWS (ahhhh I read so many I now forgot how to find it!! Where it and the owner of the tree where kinda linked. I was sure you’ve written that story but I checked and it’s not in your portfolio. Hmm maybe I will hunt it down after Review Day~)
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Thank you smmm!!!
(also team bees rules ;D )
Hey there, HMMHhehe! Today I will be picking up this lovely poem of yours to review. Hope you don't mind, let's get started~
I love her mesmerizing your descriptions sound here- waiting no time to jump in at all! However I do think they could benefit from a few rewrites, here's my suggested version-
This tree has roots and plenty of branches
To the high sky, its evergreen canopy launches
Of course, it is ultimately up to you which ideas to take and which to discard! Go with your heart and what you feel does justice to the poem.
Love this deep personal touch! Really adds another layer to the overall for-kids poem vibe you've built here.
Hmm I feel this was forced to fit the rhyme. I think there's a better way to do it, like-
Basking under the golden sunlight
Again, a little hefty and breaks the flow while reading. Maybe something along the lines-
It offered a homely refuge to as many as it could
I think no matter how much you roam reads better, but just my unprofessional opinion!
I love how this juxtaposes time and strength!
This invokes a very clear imagery for me, well done!
I think you meant the other way around- that the new owner will cut down the tree? That needs to fixed.
Overall, a great poem! Really read like a captivating children's poem, the lines were very catchy and kept me hooked. The language has got something addicting to it, it's got to do with the consistent rhyme scheme. There are still improvements to be made for sure, but this is some commendable work so far. Especially the sad yet realistic ending, looks like it's trying to teach the kids the harsh realities of life. Love what you've done here! I'm if my recommendations were too much, I was just trying to help you get better. You don't have to take can you can see do not feel they don't work better! Anyways, that's all for now. This was amazing, thank you for sharing. Hope I get to read more from you soon, but until then~
Love, Alex
Yaaaaaaaaaaay thank you for the review!!! This is really helpful =D
I will be using some of your recommendations if you don't mind? :3
Sure, go ahead!
I like the description of the tree and the visual representation of it. Plus, I feel like I was the tree telling my story to the audience.
I love that the picture itself is detailed about how the birds sing and how it soared the world. It reminds me of Walt Whitman or Robert Frost. A lovely poem I'd say.
Yaaay tysmmm!
Welcome 🖤
Hey! I really enjoyed this one! I love how the poet moves from the simplest of descriptions to a more emotional and philosophical note. The tree, as a silent witness to the speaker’s childhood, is filled with memories of the speaker’s tender years, growing up, and leaving home.
The use of imagery of the tree as an ever-present companion is delightful. The descriptions of it being there for the speaker, “rest or roam,” give it almost a status of a home.
The conclusion, in which the tree is felled and processed by the new owner, is perhaps the saddest one. The realization that, despite having seen everything in the speaker’s life, it is treated so harshly in the end gives the reader a sudden and heart-wrenching sense of loss.
The imagery of the tree living through the years and the years living through it is a masterful device, as it makes the reader realize the scale of the tree’s life in comparison to humans’. What the tree has witnessed and how little time it had to live through it all are beautifully juxtaposed in the final stanzas.
The simplicity of the idea and its poignant, bittersweet conclusion are deeply endearing. Overall, I absolutely loved it! <3
Yaaay thank you so much for this review!!! Thank you for all the wonderful and nice compliments :3
The rhyming scheme was really nice! Amazing job!
Tysmmm!
You told a story of a tree that we see everyday but you described it lik a movie the rhymes and the comparisons made this poem unique and natural overall this is a great poem
Thank you!