Dear Teddy,
I am too old for you now.
You have helped me through lots of things.
I have held you through scary thunderstorms
And you listened to me through tears without judgement
I love you teddy
But I am too old for you now.
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142,420 Literary Works • 677,766 Reviews
This is such a sweet poem, and also very short, but it gets a lot across in so few lines. I still have my childhood teddy, who was given to me when I was born, and he sits on my pillow all night, but there was a time when I was around 11 or 12 and decided I was too grown up and put him away. It wasn't until I was 20 that I realised I needed him back, and there is nothing childish about needing a teddy!
I like that the narrator of the poem declares that they are too old. It's not a feeling or a sense of progression, just a plain statement, like the narrator has decided one day the same way that I did. I also like how the last line is a repeat of the second, and it makes it feel like a loop, as if the narrator is perhaps doubting their sentiment a little!
I think the main way to improve this would be to employ a little 'show' rather than 'tell' since the entire poem is just told to us. Maybe some more abstract lines, or memories, or even a description of what the teddy looks like, would help it feel even more relatable. For instance, what are some of the things Teddy helped the narrator through? What did he listen to? Where did Teddy come from was he found or bought? Did he have scrapes and injuries along the way (my brother's teddy has had almost every part of him sewn back on at some point!) These details would help the reader be more emotionally invested in your specific story than just a statement!
Hope that helps, and keep writing!
This is so sweet, a teddy bear is a simple toy yet each teddy bear holds a different story. Having to say goodbye to something that watches your back through hard times because you have to leave it behind with time is so beautiful. Keep writing!
You never too old for somebody old
Remember age is just a number
Also you should believe in yourself
You should not think about what the other people
Thinks about you
You should be yourself
You should be happy of your daily achievements
Also you are somebody special
It was God that made you in his image
And placed you to live here on earth
Yes the earth is over populated
With strange people
The strange people have also the right to
Live on earth
AIso don't take peace for granted
Because it was the soldiers who have died in the war
So that we could have peace