My love was the door I shut to keep you.
I stood inside because I was with you.
Obsession was the latch on the trap I built,
To hide from being single.
I wanted warmth.
I wanted arms.
Other girls melted in the pan,
Almost like they were a stick of butter.
But my pan was cold as frost.
I took a hammer and hammered the butter,
Beating the cold to make it warmer.
Tears hot on a freezing face,
The frown deepening,
The door bolted—
My hands are aching from beating the butter in.
Those girls who are butter,
Melted to another.
It's just because their love was better.
Their love mattered.
My love was a door I shut to feel false warmth,
For I was not happy.
For I was scared,
For leaving a boy who viewed me as theirs,
Who didn't view me as an ugly looking bear.
now i must bear the thought that was love is just
something that was loss,
with shaking hands with heart filled with rare hope
I pick up that key and open the door to face my biggest fate
that I feared the most welcome outside
take me as your own I want love not the force one.
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142,324 Literary Works • 677,258 Reviews
A Butterfly has landed to review your work! <3
Hey Lzion! A Butterfly has landed to review your work, and I love how this poem uses the imagery of a door to show the love, loneliness, obsession, and the courage to step out to find something better.
The Egg
The setup starts the poem off well by introducing what the main metaphor is going to be
I liked this line because not only is the door keeping the outside away, but it's also keeping the person inside in. The warmth between the two are trapped behind this door that the speaker made.
The Caterpillar Hatches
The speaker explains why they made the trap in the first place
One of my favorite parts about this poem is the self-realization that the speaker comes to. How they explain that because of their fear of being single, they trapped themselves in this relationship.
Growing & Molting
The imagery you used really caught me off guard at first, but I think it's really good. The contrast between the warmth the speaker wants and the cold pan they have in this scene is really cool
The speaker is craving warmth, but everything they touch is just turning cold. The hammering really almost feels like they're trying to force the warmth out of this pan that just isn't giving.
Spinning the Chrysalis
I really loved how you continued the motif of the door throughout the poem. We see it as the latch, trap, bolt, and key. It's really cool to see how the door is changing as the speaker changes.
The Transformation
The speaker realizes that this is the reason they trapped themselves, and not because they actually wanted to be with the person
I really loved this line, especially the "false warmth" part. It almost makes it seem like it wasn't love at all but just the person trying to keep themselves from being lonely.
Wings Taking Shape
The ending starts to show signs of the freedom the speaker is craving. They're no longer the one trapping people, they're now the ones breaking free from the trap.
I really loved how the roles had reversed. The speaker had been in a relationship where they didn't love their partner, but they stayed because they were scared of being alone. The key almost symbolizes how they took control of their own happiness.
Breaking Free
What I loved most about this poem is that the speaker didn't hate on the idea of love itself. They just didn't want to be trapped anymore
The speaker is showing that even though they loved being with this person, they just couldn't stand staying in this relationship anymore.
First Flight
Opening the door is scary because the outside world is full of the unknown, but that's what makes it such a good ending. The speaker is finally going to take a risk and put themselves out there instead of staying in their comfort zone that won't give them any happiness.
Favorite Nectar
Definitely the door imagery. It changes from keeping people in to keeping people out. It was a great way to show how the speaker felt about themselves and their partner. They didn't want to leave or stay in this relationship, but the partner was still keeping them in.
The poem has some cool imagery in it that makes it stand out, especially the part about the butter. It almost gives the poem a unique feel compared to other poems I've read. I also loved how the ending wasn't completely sad. In fact, it almost ends with hope that the speaker is going to find true love someday.
Lovely work! <3
Hi
WELCOME TO YWS!!!!
I loved this poem a lot, so let me share my observations.....
Yeah, personally, I can deeply relate to this part a lot, there was a time when I had a crush, and I wanted these same things too, I became jealous of other girls who did have boyfriends because someone could love them in that way but not me. Eventually, I confessed to him but he did'nt like me.
This part is so true, i feel ugly , like shrek a lot sometimes. People might say that I am beautiful but I always think that they are lying.
Hope that this was helpful
Queenie
Hello Quenni, Thank you for sharing that it takes a lot of vulnerability open about feeling that way! just wanted to remind you your definitely not a ''ugly bear'' were often just our own worst critics!
thank you for your support
you are royally welcome!!!!!
And also thanks for saying that I am not an ugly bear
your very welcome I hope you have a blessed day!
Thank you, you toooooo!!!!!