Published September 27, 2010
I want to thank everyone that gave me advice and took an interest in my story. I've been actually working on it a lot and I plan to send it to a publishing company sometime next month. I did ditch the script format and I hope to get good news once I send it off. Unfortunately, I have to take it down from this site because some companies won't accept it if it's already out. :(
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142,334 Literary Works • 677,268 Reviews
Wow, at first it took me a second to get used to your writing style, (I'm not long new, so I not that good at reviewing) but the story was brillant, and liked the bit when charlotte walks in and lola she her, it was just so funny.Anyway I cant wait to see what happens next
Hahaha! Ooooooh my. Charlotte and Lucky are so cute together! I say he get rid of Lola and take Charlie. Soon. They're kind of perfect for each other.
Although, I have to admit that the Fat Louie bit? Yeeeeah. I find it funny that he wouldn't do any background checking. He seems pretty thorough! I can't seee him getting ahead that much if he doesn't keep checking whose loyalties he has.
Anyway! I think you should ditch the script format and try to make it in more of a story form. In fact, it almost is a story, if you think about it. It kind of looks like a play, but it quickly gains the flavor of a romance novel. And, let's face it, I'm kind of a sucker for those sorts of things. So I think you should do that.
Can't wait to see what comes next!
Uh, this is a script.
Like, I mean an actual script.
Which is always cool.
~WickedWonder