The Time We Spent Together
The Laugh We Shared Together
Became Memories
Never To Be Cherished Again !!
I Bended To Be Your Friend
And You Pretended Just To End ...
All My Woes Are Healed With Your Smile
And It Had Been Happening Before A While ...
Everyday As You Wore Mask
I Didn't See That It Was Your Task ..
As You Were My Light In The Night
I Am Finding You Now As My Wrong In The Strong ...
You Have Never Been Real
Just Used Your Eyes To Conceal ..
I Believed One's Eyes Could Never Snare
But Yours Were Rare .
I Kept The Rod Of Trust
And Finally Noticed The Formation of Rust...
No Use In Calling You As A Breaker And Faker
As Ours Is Bound To Be Drowned....
The Flame Of Friendship Can. Never
Be extinguished ...
But Can Be Hidden Deeply
Because Of Jealousy...
Rekindling The Flame
Is Not To Blame ...
Thanks For Wearing The Veil
Standing As The Cause of This Tale ....
Unfortunate To Bear This Pain
But Fortunate Enough To Sustain....
If You Ever Fall
Just Give Me A Call ...
Not To Cheat
And To Repeat ...
One day, There will Be A One In My Heart
Who Restart ....
Not To Hide The Scar
But To Become A Star...
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142,252 Literary Works • 677,084 Reviews
Wow! This is wonderful! I love the rhymes and how you made it flow pretty easily. This is so cute and very true in a way.
I Bended To Be Your Friend
And You Pretended Just To End ...
This part kind of made me question it a little. Just because at first it was a little confusing but also just because it sort of made you question the person you're talking about.
I felt like the whole poem like flowed easily like a river, where you kept reading and not having to stop and try to say it over and over again to finally get it.
You Have Never Been Real
Just Used Your Eyes To Conceal ..
I Believed One's Eyes Could Never Snare
But Yours Were Rare .
I think that this part was my favorite so far, just because eyes are usually the way you can speak without having to say anything.
One day, There will Be A One In My Heart
Who Restart ....
Not To Hide The Scar
But To Become A Star...
I was partly confused at the ending, so it the character talking about them loving/caring for someone else who's better than the first person or . . .did I read it wrong in a way?
Overall, the poem was really good!
It ends in a hopeful tone, believing not every one will be the same
Hello! Could you explain to us your method of creating cover art? They are very... unique in style.
I employ some online tools for that !! Guess you love it 😁
what... online tools?
Hi rithika.
Am moon!
I really liked this! It feels like the poem is about realizing that someone you trusted wasn't actually who you thought they were. I especially liked the mask and rust imagery because they made the betrayal feel more real. The part about the friendship being a flame that can be hidden but not completely extinguished was also really beautiful. And I liked that the ending wasn't completely sad—it gave the feeling that even after being hurt, there can still be hope for someone genuine. Overall, this was a really emotional read and I enjoyed it a lot! Keep writing this kind of poems! Am so exicted to read more like this
Aww, thank you! 🤍 Coming from you, this means even more.
Hello Rithika!
You reviewed 2 of my works, so I figured that I would review yours!
First of all, A late welcome to YWS. I am also indian btw; your name sounds like you are from the South as well! Also, you can call me Queenie instead of The Queen!
Now, let me see....
I can deeply relate to this; I think everyone can at some point. But this is absolutely beautiful!
Praise:
I love the metaphors so much! The bittersweet ending and the forgiveness.
Critique: Just fix the grammar for restart.
That's about it ,
Much love
Queenie
"This is really helpful! 💛 Could you tell me more about the grammar? I want to fix it properly."
Oh yes, I did not give much detail , did,nt I. here
Maybe restart is'nt the right word here?
Will Check Out 👍
Oh queen! You Indian too? Splendid
I don't know how to say it but the poetry was going like a story, telling us grief first and slowly it converts into something soften.
How much time it took you to write this?
"Thanks for asking! 🙏 About a hour. How long do your poems usually take you?"