New in the canteen today: a crate of
Clementines,
High-gloss, waxy.
“Please help yourself to only one piece of fruit.”
So I take ten:
Ten egg-yolk-shaped, -sized, -coloured,
Delicate, foetal
Clementines
They roll and spill over my tray.
I peel them, one after another.
The skin is soft and supple,
Pliable under my nails.
Fragrant, too -
I bloom them like roses.
Inside is my prize,
A fist curled inwards, perfectly formed.
Come, let me pry you apart;
Let me separate the vellum membranes,
Let me pull away the lace pith.
But there’s no more blooming to be had.
So I take the whole fruit (peeled),
And pop it in my mouth.
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142,307 Literary Works • 677,160 Reviews
sorry for the kinda short review, i just saw this piece and had to review it
this poem made me start fidgeting in the best best possible way. you've taken a simple, everyday occurrence such as oranges and turned it into a poetic examination. there's something about a mercurial poem such as this one; you don't really know what turn of phrase or unique wording you're going to get. this has an almost conversational tone to it, save for the more complex vocabulary sprinkled throughout ("foetal," "vellum," "pith," etc.) i think this tone really contributed to the overall strange yet intriguing mood of this piece.
favorite lines:
-the entirety of the first two stanzas. they both set the mood without being overly explanatory. i'm going to be honest- something about these two stanzas in particular unsettles me, and i have absolutely no idea why. but these are my two favorite sections in the entire poem.
-"So I take the whole fruit (peeled)/ And pop it in my mouth." this ending is gold. simplistic and concise; perfectly wrapping up the narrative. the parenthetical does so much for these two lines.
one note though: i didn't really understand the meaning of "i bloom them like roses." i mean, i completely understand how it fits with the previous line, but it feels almost overly metaphorical. this is the only place where i felt myself reading the words rather than reading the poem, if that makes sense.
otherwise, this was such a good piece. you have such a distinct voice, and i'd love to read more of your writing in the future