Floating

Hello!

I like this poem because of the way you wrote sentences that, out of context, don't really mean anything specific, but they somehow still show the whole atmosphere, define the context and everything - if you know what I mean? I'm no good at explaining this kind of thing...
Anyway, for example when you wrote:

Legs shake.
Hands twitch.
Nobody sees.
I am just a shell sitting alone

These small sentences don't really mean anything specific to the reader, it's not as if you were saying "Bob, the local baker's, legs shaked and hands twitched as he saw the creepy hooded guy coming down the street towards him" - but for this poem the uncertainity is good I think, because it reflects the mental state and thoughts, hesitation of the protagonist. (I hope I kinda explained it clearer here!)
I feel like at the start, it's more of this uncoherent, almost going mad maybe, kind of text - but then it transitions to actual clearer reasoning, still kind of desperate maybe, in which the protagonist describes their emotions, how the feel about the whole situation that was set by the first part of the poem (But these are just some thoughts I had, so it's probable that I'm missing lots or I'm talking nonsense... if so, please ignore this!) I feel like the transition happens at "is this real?" Because that's when the protagonist starts describing how they feel, wondering,

Or am I seeing the world in a way,
That only I can see.
Is it possible to feel nothing,
But everything at the same time?
To feel yourself floating,
But carrying the weight of the world
On your shoulders?

And asking deeper questions,

What if you are the weight of the world,
And too much for it to carry.

The ending is sad, but also very good litterary-wise:

I forget what fullness feels like,
So I stay hungry.

It makes me feel so sorry for the protagonist!!! *gives them an imaginary hug*
Keep it up and continue writing! I don't have any suggestions for this poem saddly, but hopefully my reflections will help you for further poems. Have a great day!

- HMMHhehe the potato

I am just a shell sitting alone,
while my soul
looks down
from above.
Is this real?

i love this poem simply because you start thinking this will be about the experience of a panic attack, only to be surprised by the author’s in depth knowledge about mental health. people usually only talk about the quiet, confused side of an attack, but forget the other things such as dissociation and spiralling. this quote beautifully explains the dissociation without over explaining or making it melodramatic.

overall, this entire poem can be seen as a cry for help from someone overloaded and exhausted from their social environment. i get the feeling that the individual may also be hyper aware and anxious about people or being seen, and perhaps things aren’t actually what they seem like. we only get their perspective, after all.