Ice Cubes #28

by miyaviloves

Published May 21, 2007

Taken down due to publishing

Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
Insomnia
Review
Insomnia wrote a review Review · Jun 3, 2007

Okay, maybe Jamiy isn't going to get hurt... yet lol. This chapter was good, first time in a while that he actually looked like he could be happy.

“You actually came!”

I couldn't tell if he was amazed or teasing Jamie there. Oddly enough, it actually adds to the suspense. :)

its that annoying kind of rain that you can barely see,

*it's, and I love that rain! xD

“The grass feels nice when its wet doesn’t it?

*it's, again

you have you’re arms crossed

You're should be your :)

So no, it was not a waste.”

Just to make the dialogue more natural, you should probably put wasn't. Not actually wrong, but I guess I feel like being very thorough lol.

User avatar
JC
Comment
JC commented Comment · May 21, 2007

laughing at him,not with him


I gotta go, I'm in math right now, and shouldn't be on the comp....oh well!

Must. Eat. Food.


-JC

Jules the jester commented Comment · May 21, 2007

Thumbs up. Looking forward to more.

User avatar
miyaviloves
Comment
miyaviloves commented Comment · May 21, 2007

Wow quick replies! thankyou both!

Alainna - glad you are enjoying Ice Cubes! And I'm glad that you keep reviewing and giving advice, it meas a lot to me!

MB - thanks again!

Meevs
x

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M.B.Author
Comment
M.B.Author commented Comment · May 21, 2007

It was good. Keep up the good work.

-- M.B.Author

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Alainna
Review
Alainna wrote a review Review · May 21, 2007

WOW.........WOW...........WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

I love ice cubes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

I was waiting for that kiss to happen, literally on the edge of my seat!!! I like the way they both got a little angry with each other at first, that is very real!!!

Can't wait for more!!!
Alainna
xxxxxxxxx



the only theft here is of decency when carina decided to rob me of my pride and put me on a banana
— veeren