ice Cubes #20

by miyaviloves

Published April 24, 2007

Taken down due to publishing

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Insomnia
Review
Insomnia wrote a review Review · Jun 3, 2007

I actually feel happy that Jamie developed real feelings. I don't really know what he might have done if he didn't have Chris. Although I am still a bit suspicious of Chris. xD

This was the only thign that I could find:

He shifts his weight across my body until he his lying between my legs

Maybe he is, or just he's?

And yes, I remember when I started how I said I'd only read like two a day so I wouldn't go through it all in a few days, but I can't resist anymore. =O

User avatar
miyaviloves
Comment
miyaviloves commented Comment · Apr 27, 2007

thanks, idecided that he would fall in love with Chris for a reason. I study psychology and its a fact that a high perecentage of people who were sexually abused develp feelings for their abuser. Its a sad thing really :( but i thought it could help develop this more.

As always thankyou to you bothfor taking your time to read and review this!

Meevs
x

User avatar
JC
Review
JC wrote a review Review · Apr 25, 2007

“I do love Rob you know[,]” He pulls away, sitting up on the side of the bed.



He shifts his weight across my body until he his lying between my legs,

Either I don't get it, or there is an accidental 'H' in is...

:!: AHHH!!! He can't be in love with Chris, NOOOO!!!! (In the good, 'oh my god, did that really happen?' kinda way of coarse.) A very good twist.

:idea: Just some small punctuation errors in the dialoug again. Comma's and all that jazz =D

-JC

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Alainna
Review
Alainna wrote a review Review · Apr 24, 2007

He's fallen in love with Chris????!!!!! OMG!!! I feel so....sad....

Great irony!!!! Very shocking yet works well!!

I let me hand fall away from him.

Just a typo........lol.

Great as always!!
Alainna
xxxxxxxx



That's just what translation is, I think. That's all speaking is. Listening to the other and trying to see past your own biases to glimpse what they're trying to say. Showing yourself to the world, and hoping someone else understands.
— Ramy (Babel by R. F. Kuang)