maybe i'm obsessive
maybe i'm possessive
maybe i'm way too overprotective
maybe i'm pathetic
maybe i'm dramatic
maybe i'm way too much for you...
say, say, you are mine
if you don't love me, i'll break your spine
wait, wait, no, you're running out of time
if you don't love me, i'll run crying
what can i say?
to make you stay?
oh no, no, don't go away
i want to ruin my lipstick on your pretty face
run, run, pretty boy
in every life i'll always choose the bear
darling, pretty boy
would you let me chain you so we'd last forever?
why, why, won't you admit?
you love me but you won't commit
why, why, won't you show it?
because all you say is a load of bullshit...
what do i check?
was i a bet?
oh no, don't make me upset
i wanna trail kisses down your pretty neck
but all i am is lonely in a world of people
where skies darken and birds don't soar high
all i want is someone to sit by
me.
so why don't you come over and let me see
how beautiful the world could be
why don't you come and set me free
tonight...?
come here, pretty boy
i didn't mean to scare you away...
my darling, pretty boy...
i just want someone to stay.
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142,318 Literary Works • 677,190 Reviews
I loved obsession, so when I saw this poem I knew I had to review it.
I think you captured Nikki's 'obsessed' version very well. The poem feels very quick-paced, and I raced through reading it. The opening stanza almost felt like it could have been a rap to me!
I think this is just so perfect for her character, and I like how you use all lowercase, since it shows something isn't quite right.
I love the violence here (we all remember THAT scene that had us jumping out of our seats) it matches the vibe of the film well. My only criticism here is that 'Crying' is a weaker rhyme than the rest of the lines, so it cut the flow up a bit for me.
I read the 'oh no, no,' bit exactly in her voice from the scene in the restaurant; perfect use of it here!
Mention 'the bear' is such a good metaphor for her and bear's relationship
I love this stanza. It flows so well and again, sounds almost like a rap!!
I think the only thing that would improve this for me would be if you could sneak in a message from the REAL Nikki somewhere, like she does with the pictures and when the obsessed version is asleep in the film. That would be so creepy. But either way, I really enjoyed this!
Hello! Thank you so, so much for reading this, and taking the time to write a review, I really appreciate it! I'm sorry for the late reply--I've been busy with quite a lot xP
I've never really watched Obsession, but I've heard enough to write about it, yet it's also sort of a reflection of how attached I can be (exaggerated)
That would be so cool! I can try that <333
Thank you so so much for reading again!!
i haven't written a review before so i'm going to try
i loved this poem so much and i really liked the concept
the repeating words in some lines was an aspect i really liked.
i noticed sometimes you would rhyme the words and sometimes you wouldn't, I'm not sure if this was on purpose or not, if it was, i found it a bit confusing but i think it still works.
the main idea or theme was very different at the end than from what i got in the beginning, it still worked though.
overall, i really liked really liked reading this poem and your style of writing. there were some lines that hit really hard for me personally like "would you let me chain you so we'd last forever" and "was i a bet" and i can't read more of your writing.
this probably isn't long enough to be a review, i'm going to find out. but still can't wait to see how your writing changes and grows c:
Thank you so much for reading! It would be slightly confusing, but it was on purpose, to make it sound more unsettling, in a way? Yea, usually my poems resolve like that xD
I will assume you mean "can't wait to read more" so thanks xD I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Woahhhhhhhhhhhhh!🤑
The rhythm is absolutely amazing, I love it!
This is so deep but yet so real.
I can really relate to this poem, I see the amount if effort u put into this.
My favourite line would be: "was a I bet?"
Also nitpick u should put a capital I not a lower case one!🤑👌
THANK YOUUU SO MUCH!! yea i probably forgot ToT