At 11:47 p.m., Mishti Sharma had three problems: an unfinished physics lecture, a biology textbook open to a chapter she had read four times without absorbing a single word, and a group chat full of people who seemed to have no ambitions beyond annoying one another until two in the morning. The first two were supposed to determine her future; the third was ruining it. Her phone vibrated beside her notebook, and she glanced at it with the guilty speed of someone checking whether a teacher had caught her cheating. Someone had sent a message. Someone else had replied with seven laughing emojis. A third person was arguing about a song nobody had asked them to identify. Mishti smiled, forgot about electric potential for the forty-seventh time that evening, and picked up her phone. She didn't know anyone in that chat well enough to miss them if they disappeared. That, at least, was what she believed.Arman was just another username in the group chat when Mishti first noticed him, which was almost insulting considering the amount of trouble he would eventually cause her without ever actually doing anything wrong. He wasn't the loudest person there, nor the funniest, at least not according to any official ranking Mishti had bothered to conduct. He simply appeared every now and then, dropped a comment that made someone laugh, and disappeared before anyone could drag him into another argument. The first time she replied to one of his messages, she hadn't even looked at his profile properly. She was busy eating something with one hand and trying to convince herself that watching a forty-minute physics lecture at double speed counted as studying with the other. Arman replied to her with two words. Mishti sent back three. Neither of them said anything particularly memorable, and the conversation ended almost as soon as it began. If someone had told her that she would one day recognise his absence faster than she recognised her own bad habits, she would have laughed in their face. Then she would have asked what they meant, because Mishti had always been curious about things she should probably have left alone. To be continued
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
Saw you posting about your story and hey, if anyone bothers to advertise a story, I will show up to give my 2 cents.
That is an interesting premise! You called the story stranger danger and now you say the stranger isn’t doing anything wrong? Wonder where this will go 😊First thing first, I think your summary could use a lot more work. A summary and a cover go hand in hand to showcase your story so you should put some effort into them. Writing summaries is a skill to invest in 😉 Right now, it doesn’t really tell us anything about what happens in your work.
Into the story itself!
I like the name of the protagonist :3
I also really like the way you introduce her through these 3 problems. Works really well to show her current situation. I’m not sure yet about the second sentence, it feels very… Hm. It feels as if she already has solved the issue so why is she still hanging out in that group chat? Also, it reads as rather odd to have someone so aware of their own shortcomings in the second sentence?
I may be too old but I think I need a better reason for why this girl is in a groupchat where she knows barely anyone and still gets distracted by it. Like, what is she getting out of this?
Ah she’s in too deep!! She has inofficial rankings in her head abt these ppl! Xd
this phrasing makes it seem as if she is using the other hand to convince herself.
These are my 2 cents. Have a good day~
But lastly: A good way to get reviews is just to engage with the community. Talk to people, write reviews or comments for others. 😊