What a desperate little lady I was
Why didn't I realize that?
Oh my me
How I was begging to have a fairytale love
Oh my me
How I was adamant about our connection
Oh my me
How I pushed the situation out of my limit zone
Oh my me
How I failed to see his manipulation
Oh my me
How I was threading on strings without realizing
Oh my me
How I convinced myself as a terrible daughter
Oh my me
How delusional and naive I was
Oh my me
How I was convinced that the things I loved doing were wrong
Oh my me
How I failed to see myself truly in this connection
Oh my me
How I failed to realize this was slowly killing me
Oh my me
How I was under the impression that I was growing
Oh my me
How I failed to tell myself I was right all along
Oh my me
How I liked the idea of the future instead of the present
My dear little one
You are meant for greater things
You deserve to be unapologetic
You deserve to not be a choice
You deserve to be recognized
You deserve to be valued
You deserve to walk on a red carpet confidently
You deserve to be seen for your true worth
You deserve to be ok, too
You deserve to love and to be loved
You deserve to shine than the stars itself
You deserve to feel alive
You deserve to feel and be better than you were
You deserve to be cherished
You deserve to live freely without overthinking
My dear little one
You deserve that right
When the right one comes, it won't be like anything you've experienced before.
You won't have to push your comfort to aid another.
You won't have to cry at every disagreement.
You'll be in good hands
All you're gonna focus on is yourself
So worry not, my dear little one.
God is smiling at you to keep going!
November 10th, 2026.
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142,628 Literary Works • 679,204 Reviews
Hi there, ElenaRuby, Noirmont here to review! (Also, welcome to WriterFeed!
)
I loveee the title to this piece. Immediately I'm hooked - it creates a certain comforting/simultaneously eerie feeling somehow. You read me? I was instantly interested in what I'd be getting into. And I was certainly not disappointed!
I think the eerie quality definitely shines through via the narrator's plummet into realizing the manipulative nuances of their partner, amongst other things. You're exploring an abundance of themes here, but I'm curious of whether or not that is in service of the overall flow of the piece. Sometimes, trying to cover a lot of ground can lead to your work coming off as a bit general, whereas focusing in on one topic and carving out specificity within and around it can really deepen your (and the reader's!) understanding of what you're getting at. The poem as is seems to jump through multiple relationships, which was a bit confusing on a first read. I hope this makes sense!
On another note, I do really love your transition from the first person to third person. It seems as if in your reflecting on your circumstances, you're able to give yourself advice and guidance as this enlightened being. You're essentially speaking to your younger/past self, and the transition is pretty seamless! It moves the piece into a more uplifting, positive light, which was so enjoyable to read. The affirmations are ones we could all afford to tell ourselves a little more, lol.
Overall, nice work! This was lovely to read and I'm looking forward to seeing more of what you write!
Hi Noirmont!
Nice meeting you again!
I appreciate your honest feedback and critique improvements! Thank you a lot for reading my work and voice out your thoughts initially while reviewing!
I could admit, at first I wasn't fully confident in this piece as I felt something was missing from the general idea and I'll take your suggestions into place.
This piece was based on one relationship and it's impact on the first person's whole perspective and decisions. The first person hadn't realized that the toxicity of the relationship was disguised to seem as though it was just an imperfect and sweet connection.
Months after breaking off due to external circumstances, she realized how bad it could've gotten and how naive she was. While the first person's future self was disappointed, she showed gentle understanding and encouragement for all that she went through. Thus, the affirmations were what the future self told the past self to reassure her and make it ache less.
Thank you once again for reviewing!
No problem, Elena! It's been a pleasure reading your work!