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Text:
My plane crashed and the world swallowed me whole.
Spoiler
When I first felt myself plummet from the sky, I felt my soul separate from my body. My body tensed, feeling terrified, completely losing control of myself, something that has happened to me over and over again, as the world has shown me how easily I can become nothing. But within myself, or some part of me that was no longer me, I felt a stillness, as I watched it all unfold. I heard nothing, except a woman screaming, nowhere to be seen. We crashed forever, but it was only an instant. Time became nothing but a strand of light that joined all of me together.
And suddenly, the plane, and everyone in it, became myself, the walls of my own mind, the descent of a soul into its own unconscious, my fragility that crashes over and over, every night.
And then, last month, I smelled death. It touched me, I felt it holding its hand over my mouth, letting nothing escape. I was in the plane all over again. I was nothing, I was everything. I dreamed that I became God, consuming all vision with light and the feeling of pure consciousness. I realized that I could never end. And for the first time, as I felt the plane begin to twist and spiral, falling towards the earth, it stabilized and I felt like I could breathe for the first time.
Hi Ellie!
I realised the previous poem I reviewed was a part of your NaPoWeek collection, so I thought I'd head back to the beginning!
I'll start with my overall understanding: the plane is a representation of the self, and so the plane crashing is the experience of losing control of yourself. (Hence, 'My plane' and not 'the plane') The first thing that happens when control is lost is dissociation, as the soul separates from the body. The body feels terrified as it drops, but the soul feels a sense of stillness. So there is a distinct split between the one who falls and the one who witnesses, like when something happens in our lives, we experience it twice. Once as the person being affected, and once as the person that will later be affected by this, the silent partner in the back of our brain, our soul.
Then, there is this recognition, this realisation, that the plane and everyone is within their own mind:
This reminds me of the s4 episode of Sherlock, which I won't spoil in case you've never seen it, but involves a similar exploration with a plane crash!
Then, there is death. It never says that death was experienced but was felt. Smelt, touched, hand over mouth; a brush with death but not a real, complete death. Perhaps a near death experience, an illness. This brush with death brings back the plane crash. Then there's almost an ego death. Collapsing into “nothing” and “everything,” and you become God, a consciousness that cannot end.
This realisation that you can 'never end':
means you can finally breathe. The terror stops being something to survive and becomes something you’ve passed through. Very similar themes to the other poem I read, which I love!
It's a brilliant and exhilarating journey. The fear of annihilation is answered by an experience of continuity. In the underwater poem, you breathe by accepting fragility; here you breathe by realising you’re infinite. Going through something traumatic that you are sure will end you but coming out the other side; that's my understanding.
It was hard to think of any critiques! But perhaps you do explain the metaphor a tad too much instead of trusting the reader. I think telling us what the plane means sort of deflates the moment I came to that realisation myself. There are also a few bits where I think you could lean more into showing rather than telling: I felt my soul separate from my body” and “feeling terrified, completely losing control”. What did the separation look like? Where did you see your body from? Maybe give it a sensory anchor. And maybe bring back the screaming woman at the end. Is she still screaming, or is she quiet when the plane stabilises, or is she gone?
Another brilliant poem that really made me think <3
Hi Rev, thank you for this wonderful review!!
I have not watched this, but now I am very intrigued! I will try to watch this.
Yes!! This is put incredibly well. If you decide to read the last two poems in this collection, I would be curious to see how you think I 'breathe' in those poems too.
Thank you for your thoughts and critiques! This poem is based on one very specific dream that I had in March that has since triggered a series of recurring dreams, all of which involve the plane. Until recently, the plane always crashed after what felt like an eternity of spiraling into the ocean. I definitely wrote this in a very straightforward way, with more telling than showing because the aim was not beauty, but more so straightforward text that is meaningful and described exactly how it was. The third paragraph touches on another dream, the most incredible dream I have ever had. The third poem in this collection returns to another dream and touches on the plane again!
I found your review very helpful, so thank you
Heyy Ellie!!♡ i have read ur beautiful work and i can say that what u have written is very interesting to me. Ur reflection on recurring nightmares is both thrilling and philosophical, as u describe the experience of dying in a plane crash as something much bigger than yourself.
I wanted to ask u about the point in the dream where the plane and the people in it transform into the narrator’s mind, as i felt it was a strange mix of the external and internal worlds....... the fact that u, as the author, feel simultaneously “I was nothing, I was everything” is utterly captivating to me, as it shows ur character’s degree of astonishment.
I liked how u described the sensation of impending doom and sudden loss of control, but what i like most is the contrast between the terror and stillness in the middle of the action. It almost seems as if u were watching the described events from a distance...... which gives this piece a bizarre and thrilling edge. It is unclear whether u are trying to depict a vivid episode from ur life or a philosophical sequence of thoughts that only have meaning to u. Either way, the impression that the narration leaves...... is one of awe and a strange form of comfort as the plane stabilizes at the end.
I think u would benefit from expanding some parts of ur piece. U wrote many long sentences in a philosophical tone, and they could be understood better if separated.... however, the rest is well written, and i admire how u managed to capture the peculiarity of ur dream so masterfully...... i think that the title u have chosen for ur work is brilliant, as it introduces a sense of mystery and provides the reader with a hint about the theme of the dream.
Overall, u have described a bizarre event that is hard to define as simply a nightmare, and i found ur work interesting and beautifully written. Lovely work!♡
Another thing that interested me in the story is that the plane’s stabilization at the end almost gave the impression that the narrator had accepted the chaos within them after all the fear and uncertainty, even the fact of being able to breathe seemed to be something great. It is important to figure out whether it was acceptance, an attempt to escape from the recurring nightmare or something else. i would be really interested to know what u meant by that final moment!!!♡
~lilly♡ the fire dragon
salutations, Ellie !!! this caught my eye because, due to the title, i expected the piece to be about something completely different…. and i was surprised to say the least (in a good way ! )
firstly, i like the format you used here. it’s structured like a narrative but the prose is poetic and … poem-izes it (is that a word?) capturing the experience of a plane crash also intrigued me; it’s terrifying to be in such a situation, but (with no intention of disrespect to plane crash victims) the way you described it made it sound unearthly.
if you have actually experienced a plane crash, i’m so sorry and i’m glad you got through it. please know i’m not trying to glorify or undermine your situation in any way, just making an observation. <33
oooh i just love when people personify death ^^
i don’t know if this was intentional, but the repetition of ‘and’ at the beginning of some sentences (“ And then, last month, I smelled death,” “And suddenly … “ etc.) was v. effective, it made it seem like everything was happening in a blur, transitioning from one thing to the next.
i love the juxtaposition (or is the term ‘antithesis ?? I’M MIXING UP MY WORDS AGAIN-) here !!
i have no critiques other than this:
this quote is inherently well-written, but something that made me stop and reread it a few times was “completely losing control of myself.” forgive me if I’m being too specific here, but would it not be “completely losing control of itself” since the subject of the first part of this sentence is the body? unless the “myself” was intentional to show the mind/body connection? please lmk : )
overall, i loved this !! your writing is v. detailed and breathtaking and i look forward to reading more of your work.
~Vesh 🪭