Published October 9, 2026
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142,337 Literary Works • 677,278 Reviews
Text:
Night after night, I pleaded with you to receive me, to look into my eyes, to accept me as a part of you that could be loved. Until finally, I could not scream any louder, I could not beg any harder, I could not do anything more to show you that I needed you to answer me. Holding your face, looking in your eyes, smothering your body with my own, producing as much sound as my body could, you would still not answer me. It was an awful dream.
Spoiler
And then you disappeared and became me. My inability to accept loss. My persistence to live in grief. My attachment to something physical that allows me to live in this world and feel like I belong. My craving for hurt, for pain, for feeling, for a never ending song of melancholy sorrow. And I realized that me, my hands, my smothering body was open air, fresh water, a breeze I felt on the other side of the world, so full of life that I felt like I could never die. I was desperate, suffering, endlessly begging. I died, I became God, I became life. I have tried to die and tried to live. And I have still not listened to myself.
I am still resisting, but I have full control. I am the plane.
hey ellie!
In the previous poem, I analysed it as the speaker only exhaling, pleading, with no inhale. This poem is somewhat of an answer: the inhale arrives, but not from the beloved. The speaker's own body becomes smothering, and the breath they begged the dead to give back comes from within.
Firstly, again, I really loved the format of this poem. Typed out and in rough paragraphs, it seems more like something a person has written in a diary or a letter, very personal and raw, like something I shouldn't be reading, a tab someone left open by mistake. It's so simple, but does a lot for the poem!
In this first stanza, the speaker begs to be received, to be looked at and ultimately, to be accepted. These three requests are all that is allowed, like three unanswered wishes, as the limit is reached. The speaker cannot do anything else to show how desperately they need to be answered. Then the body takes over, and there is a lot of active verbs: holding, looking, smothering, making sound. Each stage drops language for physical action, as though the speaker is trying to force an answer through sheer presence. Ending on 'it was an awful dream' feels flat, but not in a bad way; everything in this has been so loud and so real, it's a defeat to realise it was a dream, a dream that the speaker most likely has had more than once.
'And then you disappeared and became me' continues the flat logic of the dream line. The other person has become a part of them. This is followed by a list of what the beloved turns into, and the grammar is something I think is really clever here. The fragments 'My inability to accept loss. My persistence to live in grief' have no verbs, so they read as the beloved’s new form: the person is now a set of traits. So perhaps, this is not a physical becoming, but the way that sometimes the people we love rub off on us, and through our actions, we will always have them within us. The hands that the speaker was using to smother in the first paragraph now become fresh air and a breeze, so the breath the speaker wanted from someone else comes from within. I think this was the strongest line for me: 'I died, I became God, I became life. I have tried to die and tried to live. And I have still not listened to myself.' A huge transformation has happened, and the God line echoes back to 'Everything in my dreams is me' where the speaker says 'I dreamed that I became God, consuming all vision with light and the feeling of pure consciousness. I realized that I could never end.'
In this poem, the speaker became God (past tense), so the transcendence that closed the first poem is now something already lived through, and it has not been enough. The speaker has died, transformed, and in a sense, was reborn here. However, the line 'And I have still not listened to myself' shows that none of these transformations solved the real problem. All along they were begging someone else to answer them, and the answer they needed was their own voice, which they have never stopped to hear, even now.
In the first poem, the plane was something that crashed, and the speaker could not control; the crash literally represented the speaker losing their self-control over and over. Here the speaker stops being the passenger and becomes the plane itself. The thing that kept crashing is now the thing they are. That is a different kind of control, because it is ownership of the self, including the part that falls.
Part of me wishes this poem had been longer! I think there is so much imagery that you could have gone into more depth with; however, I understand the resistance, as the piece is about control in a way and is very controlled, but perhaps a few slips in the beginning, perhaps in form, would illustrate the control gained in the second stanza more? I hope that makes sense. I struggled to find something to criticise again, as I think this has been a brilliant collection and I am glad to have read them all! <3
Hey, Ellie! I just read yoir beautiful work and I wanted to share some thoughts because ur piece genuinely stayed with me.
What stood out to me most was how u portrayed grief through the desperate need to be heard, understood, and accepted the opening feels painfully intimate, especially the repeated attempts to reach someone who simply won't response. There's something heartbreaking about that helpness, and I think you captured it beautifully.
I also loved the shift in the second paragraph. Where the speaker reflects on loss, attachment and their own struggle to feel alive. The contrast between the suffocating imaginary earlier and the open air fresh water and breeze later on was particularly striking. It creates a substile change in atmosphere without making the emotions feel less complicated.
The ending caught my attention too. "I am still resisting, but I have full control. I am the plane" after so much vulnerability. this sudden declaration of control feels intriguing. I found myself wondering what the plane represents to the speakers and I think that ambiguity makes the ending memorable.
Overall, I found this deeply emotional and thoughtprovoking, thank you for sharing such a beautiful pieceof art Ellie♡.
~lilly, the fire dragon♡
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Am moon!!
Top Graham Cracker -I think this is about losing someone and not being able to accept it. The speaker keeps trying to reach someone, but gets no answer. It made me think about how hard it is to let go of someone who means a lot to us
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow -i was little confused by the last line " I am the plane" i wasn't sure what it meant.but am curious about it.I'd love to know what you meant there!
Chocolate Bar - I really liked “My inability to accept loss. My persistence to live in grief.” Those lines hit me because they say so much in so few words.
Closing Graham Cracker - overall it was beautiful poem, and that ending made me curious. And yeah keep writing!