I was a dandelion in an ocean of tears
Years of the rain wash out the sun
And leave the pain
Never feel safe enough to breathe and grow free
I was a dandelion who needed the sun
But I was left in the shade
To wither and grey
Caution out
I’m gonna drown
My roots can’t take anymore
And if I go i’ll know I’m not wanted forevermore
I know I won’t be missed
I’m just a burden so I’ll carry that weight
Till my grave
I wasn’t ok
But I tried to be
For the people around me
Tried to bloom in the shade
Till I couldn’t and gave away
Let my pain take over
Let it run amok
Let the rain fall in the grey
On one fateful day
My luck swayed
Like the breeze on an autumn day
Another dandelion grew
Understood the pain, the rain, the grey I went through
Then blossomed into a flower so bright
No longer the rain
No longer the pain
Saw the sun rise on that day
I found the hope
Maybe I was ok
This dandelion who bloomed so bright
Made me see the light
Caution out
I may burn from the light
The sun is shining so bright
I know I won’t drown
I know I'll be missed wherever I go
And I know the brightest dandelion will always make the sun show
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This is a great poem on growth, and I love dandelion or flower imagery in general, as flower symbolism exists and adds layers. I also like the dandelion letting the sun show, especially since they, when yellow, look like the sun. Also, it talking about how watching the other grow was encouragement and new light is very beautiful. Only possible critique (and do not by any means listen as poetry is self expression so I have no clue why choices were made) is that I personally hate reusing words the same way in the same poem, and you use the word grey a lot when you could use metaphors or higher level descriptors. (I sound pretentious af sorry lol, also poetry advice is always subjective)
Thank you for the advice and no you don't sound pretentious at all lol I appreciate you spending the time to look through my work. I'll keep that piece of advice in mind for the future!
Before I review this I want to know who is the other dandelion (person I would guess) ?
Lol someone
I bet I can guess