Gleaning off the shining night --
He stands tall, 'fraid not of yesterday;
Wielding the power of today and tomorrow,
He forges his path to the sky and away.
He draws, he sketches, he sings, he dances,
He laughs away sorrows and pretends no stances;
He looks upon the stars, the galaxies, the suns --
Wrings them around his pinky, just for a bit of fun.
He always helps you out in your times of need --
But not in a shining armour on a silver steed --
But with a smile, he shows you, and sweetly nods,
He embodies his name -- the joy of the gods.
Wearing his emotions on his sleeves, he smiles;
Hiding his scars beneath the knowledge piles
Of wisdom gained from suffering and sorrow --
Turning them into fuel that rockets into tomorrow.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Time will chug on on the train of nonchalance;
He will stand tall regardless and look up on high,
Wringing truth from destiny, destiny from chance.
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142,267 Literary Works • 677,108 Reviews
I hope I’m not missing out on your new poems. This is the latest I put on my list but it feels like you might have posted an even more recent one that slipped through my attention?
At first I was wondering if this would be about a celestial object. Maybe the moon (which is male in my culture) but then I had to realizations: a) this object forged TO the sky, so it had to come from somewhere that is not the sky and b) we are talking abt you. So is this some sorta rocket or other scienc-y thing? I am intrigued! Maybe the indominable human spirit wanting to reach beyond our planet ~In any case! More poetry @.@
(Ah this is what Alex meant that reading poems from certain authors creates expectations!)
Hmm rocket theory died. I am reminded of Salai. There is a metaphor here that I need my brain to decipher. See this is why I prefer novels XD
The joy of the gods, huh? So a mythical figure (still not letting go of the indominable human spirit btw, could be the person to facilitate the success of this!)
That is such an interesting line! It says so much about the figure, that not only is he interested in helping ppl and playing with the stars, he also has scars and he doesn’t really like to show them. As if there is something pushing back, violently, against his life style. Kinda Prometheus-esque? (The uncultured German ofc only knows Greek myths =.=)
I’d be happy if you enlightened me about all the meaning I missed. I do love learning! Hope you have a great day~
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hey Juke here! the title of this was v. eye-catching and i just had to check it out!
the rhyme scheme is pretty consistent, though the sight rhyme at the end (“nonchalance” and “chance”) caught me off guard a bit.
overall this gives a very beautiful, harmonious feel, and the subtle astronomical references you include add to the cake nicely
sweet hira pointed this out already, but one thing I didn’t quite get was the line “pretends no stances” which gives off the feeling you added/incorporated it for the sake of the rhyme. was this unintentional or does the phrase have a meaning? I’d love to know!
some of my favorites:
i loved this ! never stop writing, Rebel !!
~Juke
Hey there! I absolutely loved it! Your poem is bursting with positivity and optimism as it narrates the story of a person who, regardless of all the hardships in his life, keeps looking forward.
I personally loved the second stanza of yours, which describes the drawing, singing, dancing, and laughing making the poet look so energetic and vital. What can I say about a man who has the stars and galaxies wrapped around his little finger? The stanza where you describe his scars is also really great! I personally loved the idea of turning the pain, struggles, and sorrows into fuel for the future and the constant mentioning of tomorrow at the end of the stanza really emphasizes this feeling of moving forward.
The only thing I didn’t quite understand in your poem are the phrases “pretends no stances” and “chug on on the train of nonchalance.” I think you could’ve used slightly more descriptive and understandable word choices there.
All in all, I really liked your uplifting and positive poem full of hope and dreams. Great job! <3
here's a quick review
I really liked the concept of this felt very uplifting, but a few lines confused me a bit like "Hiding his scars beneath the knowledge piles" gave off a more of a sad feeling, like burying his pain while the rest was very different.
i liked the alliteration and descriptive words you used, leaning into a medieval knight even with the line in the beginning 'fraid not of yesterday; which i really liked
i found one line confusing or out of place personally being "Wrings them around his pinky, just for a bit of fun." it felt a little random and kind of off from the overall theme. other than that amazing poem i really liked reading it and your style of writing c: