A Tree Falls in the Forest

Hey there, pebble! This is Alex, wrestling with reviewing block to complete my promise and earn that beautiful badge. Just like the last ones, I'll be doing the reactions first and then the headings alliyah's wonderful article suggested. Let's get right into it~

Reactions

New driver: you keep forgetting to turn the headlights on

I love how unconventional the imagery is here! The subject isn't as careful as it should be, but there's a sparing scope in their stated experience, instead of them simply not caring enough. It could also be that they don't love themself enough to make the bold step of disturbing the natural darkness of their own safety. Perhaps they want to fall and the narrator is shaking them out of that destructive chain of thought? I love how dynamic the possibilities are.

(Eyes are on the road, all but your own)

This makes me wonder who's there with the subject- the narrator who's more concerned than them or the surrounding forest that is watching them make their way? It could also be the reader himself, curious to see what happens next, or perhaps it's their loved ones on the passenger seats who are also bound to suffer if this car goes downhill (symbolic meaning intended). It's such a chilling line, fit for spooktober even!

& without the music your thoughts grow too firm

Wow, this was powerful! I definitely sense a subtle implication of mental illness or struggle in this poem, mainly because of how focussed the depictions are. This does apply to most of us on a bad day, but combined with everything else, this is much more chilling. As if the subject is using the music to distract, or rather, to prevent themself from falling victim to their own mind. It's so wickedly beautiful..

But simultaneity is too much for you

I think it points to their overthinking, a recurring theme in this piece. They fear change, perhaps because of judgement or failure. I'm shook with you plainly you wrote this though, incredibly vulnerable and effective. It almost feels like a personal attack, but launched with good intentions (making them realise everything).

You worry it's too much for others around:
To hear the things that comfort you
To see the parts that make up your whole

Ahhhh so freaking good!! I see some foreshadowing from the star poem, about unapologetically being yourself. But it's even more concentrated- the subject is reluctant to their own joy and identity in face of society. Shattering, but really telling.

But won't let anyone hear it
Did it ever even fall?

The metaphor doesn't escape me, it's so we'll dressed! Is invisible damage real- the ache in your heart or your broken mind? This poem is doing wonders for people dealing with mental health issues quite impressively.

(Is existence so limited?
Are we so insubstantial?)

You're really the master of parentheses, pebble!! The way you make them sound like an echo, who seem to coming from a much more intellectual force amazes me. The way these lines go together in impeccable harmony too, is chef's kiss.

You push up like a seed:
Sprouting through the soil, ground cracking apart

Such striking imagery- that even a delicate seedling is portrayed like a warrior to be reckoned with. The much larger and stronger Earth is no match for a seed's determination- and the juxtaposition of that with the subject's true potential is so satisfying to read.

You would rather have never grown
Than ever have upset the dirt

My favorite lines, so raw and extravagant!!!

Trying to shrink, you fear for your branches
Stretching toward sunlight:
You hate to block the view

Oh, it just keeps on getting better and better.. it's such a terrifying hypothetical scenario- a tree afraid to grow. But so often, we as humans, with just as much vigor, overlook this analogy. The blow with which this lands- bravo!

But plants never ask permission to grow

Again, stating the facts so plainly so the subject cannot possibly claim to not get it. It's a much needed respite after the descriptive imagery, and balances out everything exceptionally well.

They keep bursting through soil &
Dropping seeds across pathways unapologetically:
& it is this that lets us breathe

The former half sounded like something you've already expressed, but the way you expanded on it rendered me speechless. Growth is not only commendable, but necessary for the bare minimum of survival. The fact that the subject (a symbolism for a lot of us) isn't even fulfilling that standard, speaks volumes to the kind of life where they are barely scraping by. It really moves you, outdid yourself with the last quoted line.

& it will echo forever:
Even though its attempted silence

A noise can't go quietly, no matter how much it wants to. A refreshing and yet carrying metaphor. I do fear though, that it didn't have enough room to stretch its legs in.

Voice
It's very consistent with the other poems in this series, that's for sure! It's this supreme force, that seeks the best of the narrator when even they themself don't. It's like a guiding light, that at times burns, but always leads to the right way. The first and last stanza around the tree imagery sound a little distant as they tone down the targetting, but it's not all too unpleasant. It's unmistakenly the same speaker, but appear slightly zoned out or too immersed in the scene they're describing. The creative choice certainly keeps the narrative interesting..

Layers of meaning
I was insanely impressed of the tree imagery and how you developed it at the perfect pace. The headlights and some bits brought back the star metaphor from the first poem for me. The car and journey metaphors were wonderfully polished in the beginning, and added an unexpected modern horror to the poem. The last note about attempted silence went along with the meaning, but I think could've been elaborated more as it appears a little too hurried. But given how well it fit into the overall theme of 'unapologetically being yourself', it still managed to get across.

Purpose of order
I'm a fan of opening with the stanza you did, which instantly paints a horrifying scene. There's inexperience and seemingly paranormal forces at play- not at all a good combination. The next stanza dives deeper, revealing that the real demons are internal. The shift to the tree imagery was a little abrupt, but could be related to the route through the forest that the subject has taken. I still wished we got some closure there. The first and the last stanza revolving around the tree metaphor seem to overlap a little, but in a way that enhances their effect. The two stanzas in between are strictly sequential and flow smoothly. All in all, I'd say you've done a great job- the order wouldn't have work any other way.

Theme
The clarity of the message is definitely your biggest strength in this series. Even as someone who has a hard time interpreting poetry at times, your lessons are hard to miss. This one seemed to experiment with the way you delivered it though, and I want to commend taking that chance. The first three stanzas a little muddied in their inference, and instead lead towards descriptions in a way that seems to be mirroring the subject or the reader's struggle. It's descriptive and sets the scene for what you've going to say next. I noticed a pattern that the last two lines of the next three stanzas are especially heavy in the message / lesson, as if you're hoping the reader takes that away as the words end there. It's a nice way to balance things out, especially when you're using such an extensive imagery. I'm in awe of what you did with this, along the same airfield but still exploring <3

Love, Alex

Ah, wow. This poem is really really beautiful. I love the extended metaphor of the tree representing a person who won't let themselves take up space. I think the tree is a very apt choice, big and silent and beautiful, providing shelter and shade to animals , but unable to see how beautiful and special they really are.

The stylistic choice of using an ampersand is interesting; it's like the writer is trying to make even their own writing smaller by contracting the words, and it really adds to the message. I feel like this poem would a great song!

You would rather have never grown
Than ever have upset the dirt

This quote really crystallises the message of the poem, in my opinion. The subject of the poem would sacrifice their own existence to not inconvenience others - not even the dirt which is so inanimate and uncaring.

Thank you so much for sharing your poetry!

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

HIIII!! MOON HERE!! AHHH, I'M SO EXCITED TO READ AND REVIEW YOUR WORK!! LET'S GOOOO!!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
As a complete introvert myself, I could really relate to this poem. It felt like the writer was putting some of my own feelings into words, especially the fear of being judged and the feeling of being a burden to others. The comparison between a person and a growing tree made me think about how we sometimes try to make ourselves smaller just to keep others comfortable.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I have no suggestions for now.

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Ohh damn i can say am in love this whole poem not only specific line but ok i can say

If a tree falls in the forest
But won't let anyone hear it
Did it ever even fall?

this stood out to me.

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall i liked this poem its so good and the comparison with tree its beautiful. If i can rate this poem out of 10 i would give it solid 10 easily.Keep writing!! Thank you for sharing