Stage Fright

Hey, pebble! Alex is back to review the next poem in your fabulous collection. I'll be using alliyah's article again, let's get started~

Reactions

Each freckle lit up in a singular spotlight

I loved the detailing here! It's personal in a way that makes it real. The synecdoche doesn't escape me either, and I think it's beautiful.

You do not want to be witnessed
(Though it pains you to be ignored)

Oh, the deep irony yet plain truth in this! It's good to see it's the parenthesis that present this thorough realisation, since it's always stood for a higher and more self-aware power. There's a certain maturity in admitting this, and captures the duality of human nature effortlessly.

your proud pulse, refusing to skip a beat

The way this unapologetically shines- splendid! To think this hidden existence also has a figurative toll on the narrator's health is a good way to make the adverse effect seem more literal.

& that absense is a fate worse than death

For living a certain way to be worse than death is a big claim, but one that lands surprisingly well here. It might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it surely adds a poetic spell on the line.

To be, & never be seen
To be, & never be heard

I loved the way this was phrased, and how beautifully this summarised the entire thing. Great going!

Voice
The voice isn't really anchored for the most part, but I feel that's necessary for the diverse effect you intend to be drawn from each stanza. It grows with the narrative though- first a personal reality, then a hopeful possibility and lastly is the plight of such a compromised existence. The first two stanzas are commendably consistent though, I quite enjoyed them.

Layers of meaning
I found the imagery of (spot)light to repeat throughout the poem, which I think binds the poem beautifully. But I still would've preferred to see more metaphors being experimented here. I also thought the whole concept of 'stars' was dropped altogether, though that that had significant potential here.

Purpose of order
The order worked wonderfully! It establishes the scene of stage fright, then expands on it by sound and heartbeat, works towards improving the present state and ends on all the drawbacks of living this way. It wouldn't have worked any other way, in my opinion.

Theme
I love this the most in your series, for sure. The lesson is very worth it- to get over our tendency to hide and the shadow and declare ourselves to the world. I could resonate with it, and quite liked it.

Love, Alex

Review!!!

I like this one poem the most out of the whole collection! It's relatable and also

You do not want to be witnessed
(Though it pains you to be ignored)

Really describes how much I feel,and I'm sure other people feel that too.
I remember when I was like, in my hometiwn from wich I moved from, I was a really big introvert. Even when I thought I liked silence and peace, I was really envious of other people who could just talk so easily, so being ignored was a real big deal to me°_°

You do not want your heartbeat echoing
Filling the space & reberberating

Very cool wording! Self-distancing and social isolation is what this speaks to me, you want to make yourself as small as you can so that other people won't notice you,

& one day something will happen
Showing you as a person, a being of noise&light

but even the smallest things are eventually going to be discovered no matter how much time it takes or how much they hide themselves.
ALSO

(For how can you live
If your light does not reach the retina
&fill eyes to make you appear)

and

To be, & never be seen
To be, & never be heard

you are so good at writting stuff like this, holy crap.
It just highlights how humans are social creatures, without friends or acquaitances we wouldn't feel seen or heard.
I don't think there's anything to be improved grammatically.

My thoughts on this is that you're a great writer! Gonna be reading more of your poetry:3 I'm sorry if this review was bad, since I'm not great at writting critique eek