At 6:66 AM, he returned upon my doorstep
With a smug smile stitched across his face.
I hid beneath my sheets, for his visage I dared not behold.
“Cara mea, nunc umbrae nostrae una erunt.”
He spoke in a tongue my soul remembered.
I knew not the words,
yet I knew precisely what they meant.
My dry, red ambrosia ceased its wandering
Through the veins the lords bestowed upon me.
My hands grew cold beneath the covers,
though I could feel his warmth through the door.
The candles wept black wax at his arrival.
Even the walls shrank from his shadow.
And when he smiled,
the crucifix above my bed bent sideways.
I shut my eyes.
He came closer.
I shut them tighter.
He came closer still.
Then I heard my own voice whisper,
“Let him in.”
I had not moved my lips.
The floorboards groaned beneath his feet,
though I heard no footsteps.
The mirror refused to hold his reflection,
yet mine stood beside him -
smiling.
I looked away.
It smiled still.
Outside, the morning birds fell silent.
The sun remained buried beneath the clouds,
as though Heaven itself had barred its gates.
He whispered my name again,
and this time,
I remembered teaching it to him.
But I had never met him.
Had I?
O Lord, whose soul dares wear his face?
Perhaps even Satan kneels in prayer before him.
Perhaps the angels know his name,
and have erased it from every hymn.
Thy Majesty,
please stay away from me.
For I fear the door is not what keeps him outside.
I fear the door was never closed.
And when I finally looked toward the crucifix,
it was no longer bent toward him.
It was bent toward me.
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142,326 Literary Works • 677,258 Reviews
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the morbid S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Someone lies awake in bed as a figure approaches them. The crucifix bends towards the figure and then, when he is close, it bends to the protagonist.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, you may.
Chocolate Bar - I absolutely love the gothic romance tone of this poem! I think my favorite parts where when the figure gets closer to the protagonist, the crucifix would bend and also how the protagonist tries to look away from him by using their head, but their heart betrays them to let him in. It seems to me that the heart is the greatest sinner of all, with how honest it is.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a lovely and dark poem! I have enjoyed reading this and I will be certain to read your other works. I’ve enjoyed the imagery of the night and so now…
I wish you a beautiful day/night! ^v^
Thank you soo much! 🥹🌷✨️
yw!
A Butterfly has landed to review your work!<3
Hey Aster! A Butterfly has landed to review your work and WHERE THE CRUCIFIX BENDS is such an unsettling little piece. I really liked how you created this feeling of something being terribly wrong without explaining what "he" is. The poem keeps moving between religious imagery, supernatural horror and the narrator's own uncertainty that makes it almost like a nightmare you can't wake up from.
The Egg
The opening makes clear that something is wrong.
Obviously, 6:66 doesn't exist which makes it such a great choice for the first line. Before anything even happens, the reader already knows the normal rules don't apply here.
Then introduce the mysterious visitor talking in Latin. I especially liked that the narrator doesn't understand the words, but somehow understands their meaning. This makes the threat feel instinctive rather than intellectual.
The Caterpillar Hatches
The imagery throughout the first half are genuinely creepy.
The environment itself seems to feel afraid of him which makes him feel far more powerful than simply having the narrator describe him as frightening.
And then there's the crucifix.
The fact that it bends when he smiles is such a good supernatural image because a crucifix should be a symbol of protection or faith.
Growing & Molting
The mirror scene was probably one of my favourite moments.
That is such a good horror image because the real problem isn't simply that he has no reflection. It's that the narrator's reflection is doing something different.
It also opens the possibility that the danger isn't entirely outside the narrator.
Spinning the Chrysalis
I really liked the repetition of the narrator closing their eyes while he keeps getting closer.
It creates a helpless feeling where the narrator is desperately trying to escape through avoiding, but the threat continues to approach.
Then comes:
The fact that the narrator hears their own voice say it makes the situation even creepier. It asks the question of if something else is controlling them, or if some part of them wants him inside.
The Transformation
The religious imagery is probably the strongest element of the poem for me. Heaven, Satan, angels, gods, the crucifix, prayer--it creates an atmosphere where the narrator is desperately looking towards something divine for protection, but even the protection is failing.
I particularly liked:
This line gives the mysterious figure an almost impossible amount of power without explaining what he is.
Wings Taking Shape
The ending is where everything flips.
Throughout most of the poem, it's assumed the danger is outside the narrator. The door separates them from him. The narrator is hiding. The crucifix bends towards him.
But then:
This completely changes how I read everything before it.
Breaking Free
And then you one step further.
This final image is fantastic because it makes the reader re-read the whole poem. Maybe the crucifix wasn't reacting to him, but reacting to the narrator.
This uncertainty makes the ending much creepier than simply revealing what the creature is.
First Flight
I think the strongest part of the poem is that you trust the reader to sit with unanswered questions. We don't get a clean explanation of who "he" is, why the narrator knows him, or why the narrator's reflection is smiling. Instead, we get fragments, symbols and increasingly strange details.
Favorite Nectar
My favourite part was definitely the mirror and crucifix imagery. Both are objects that should offer some kind of truth or protection, but they are both unreliable. The mirror shows something the narrator doesn't understand and the crucifix ultimately turns towards them. This creates a really strong end feeling that perhaps the narrator wasn't hiding from the horror. Perhaps the horror had been looking back at them the entire time.
Lovely work! <3
Aww thank you soo much!! 💖✨️
Bzz - hello -bzz
A bee is here to review your work!
Pollinating
First impressions
I enjoyed this poem. The atmosphere is probably its strongest aspect. From the very first line, the strange “6:66 AM” immediately establishes that something is deeply wrong. I like how the poem gradually builds the horror instead of explaining exactly what is happening. The crucifix bending, the candles weeping black wax, and especially the mirror refusing to hold his reflection all contribute to this feeling that something supernatural has entered a space that should have been safe.
Bee Buddies!
Opinion on Characters
The mysterious figure is obviously the main presence here, but the narrator is more interesting because they understand so little of what is happening to them. There is constant uncertainty about whether this figure is truly an outside entity or something connected to the narrator. I like that the narrator's fear becomes increasingly complicated as the poem progresses.
Flying Home
Summary
The narrator encounters a mysterious figure at their door who seems to possess some connection to them that they cannot remember. As the figure approaches, increasingly unnatural things begin happening. Even the crucifix bends in his presence. The narrator realizes that the real threat might not be the figure outside, but something already inside their home or within themselves. The final image reveals that the crucifix has turned toward the narrator instead.
Wasp Attack!
Critiques and Suggestions
There are a few moments where the poem leans so heavily into its gothic language that some of the imagery starts to compete with itself. Phrases like “dry, red ambrosia,” “the veins the lords bestowed upon me,” and “Thy Majesty” all fit the style individually, but there are enough heightened descriptions that they can make the poem feel more ornate than frightening. I think a few simpler sentences placed between the more elaborate imagery could make the unsettling moments hit harder. I would be careful with explaining the supernatural implications too much; the poem is strongest when it leaves me wondering what exactly this figure is.
Queen Bee
Best parts
The crucifix as a symbol of protection, or at least something associated with Heaven; however, the final image completely alters its meaning. Instead of being directed toward the intruder, it is now bent toward the narrator. This shift changes how we view the earlier events, raising the question of whether the narrator was ever truly hiding from something outside themselves. I also found the line, “I had not moved my lips,” notably impactful. It is a short sentence, but when it immediately follows the phrase “Let him in,” it makes the scene feel much more unsettling.
Honey Flavor
Closing thoughts
The strongest aspects of the piece are where you leave some elements ambiguous, allowing the imagery to create discomfort for the reader. The final crucifix image is particularly powerful, as it provides a sense of inevitability without fully uncovering the mystery. There is a great deal of strong imagery throughout, and with minor tightening in some of the more elaborate sections, the horror could be intensified even further.
Thank you for this read.
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Thank you sooo much!! 💗✨️
Oh my gosh! I absolutely love this poem! I'm sorry that this review is in a bit of a rush and I don't have enough time to thoroughly tell you everything I like and would improve on, this is absolutely a fantastic start. Please share a few more poems with us!
Omgg thank you soo much! 🤧💖