You tried to trick yourself into believing that
you knew deep down you never would.
but still you tried.
You always tried.
Poor you, always trying for other people,
never yourself, though.
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142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
Hey there!
I'm Jaye!
The titles of your poetry spoke to me so here I am about to read & review them!
The first line confused me a little bit. I'm still not exactly sure on what you're writing here though I have a little idea.
This seems like me in a way, and that's what I enjoyed about it. You can feel the emotion from the words.
And that's where it hits me.
It spoke to me.
I don't try for myself. I'm always 'trying' for someone else. Because I'd rather care for others.
And I like that in the poem.
Because the narrator cares for this person.
Deeply.
There wasn't much that you need to fix.
Keep up the good work!
~ Jaye.
tysm!! I might post some more poetry soon 👀👀👀
HAIIII!! Rae hereeeee!
This is such a raw and emotional piece!
I really like how this poem focuses on trying to convince yourself of something even when deep down you know it isn't true!! It feels like there's a lot of emotion behind such a short piece, and I think that's really interesting.
I especially like the repetition of “you tried” and “you always tried” because it emphasizes how much effort the person put into something, even if they knew deep down it wouldn't work. It makes the poem feel more personal, like the speaker really understands how exhausting it is to keep trying.
The line “Poor you, always trying for other people, never yourself, though” is probably my favorite because it's honestly kinda sad. It makes you think about how sometimes people put so much effort into making other people happy that they forget about them selves, and I think that's a really meaningful message!
I also like how short the poem is! It gets its point across without needing a bunch of extra words, and the ending leaves you thinking about what the person has been through. There's something about it that feels like finally realizing you've been putting everyone else first for way too long.
Thank you sm for sharing!!!
aww tysm!!!
I really like how raw and personal this feel. The repetition of “You always tried” makes the poem feel emotionally heavy. I'd suggest reworking the opening slightly, as the poem itself doesn't have that flow and it's also confusing.Otherwise, I'd keep the simplicity of the language because it suits the message.
Nice work carry on.
Ooh okay thank you!!!