Today I've fallen to the nadir of the Soil
Tomorrow I shall rise to the apex of the Sky
Yesterday my feet stood on the mountain high
Today the end of this life feels so nigh
The bow that bends the arrow back
Oh I am that today
The momentum of running back
To jump across the sky
I feel as though I've reached the top
And now the game has started
To keep pushing this with no stop
Till from my life I am parted
Today I've fallen to the nadir of the Soil
Tomorrow I shall rise again
This is the cycle of my life
What do I have to complain?
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142,603 Literary Works • 679,105 Reviews
First, I love all the comparisons! They work really well to show how today might not be the greatest day, but why tomorrow is expected to be better. Its not for certain, but the narrator is hopeful, and these comparisons do i good job of showing why.
My favorite one is:
"The bow that bends the arrow back
Oh I am that today
The momentum of running back
To jump across the sky"
That's a really cool metaphor to use! The way the arrow is pulled backwards represents how, even when it feels like you're falling behind or not making progress, you're actually getting ready to go further, getting ready to jump across the sky. I really love that!
The ending sums everything up well, showing that this is just how life is sometimes. We have both good and bad days, so what is there to complain about? That's so true.
Good job! 😊
This poem is an absolute masterclass in vulnerability, and it left me completely breathless. From the very first lines, there is an undeniable raw honesty that pulls the reader in, creating an immediate intimacy between the speaker and the audience. It takes immense bravery to lay one's soul bare on the page like this, but what makes this piece truly remarkable is how seamlessly you transform highly specific, deeply personal pain into a universal human experience. Anyone who has ever wrestled with these emotions will find a piece of themselves mirrored in your words.
Your structural choices are incredibly effective. The pacing feels intentional, almost mimicking the natural rise and fall of a heavy breath or a racing heartbeat. I particularly admire your restraint with punctuation; the way the lines flow into one another creates a beautiful, cascading stream of consciousness that heightens the emotional stakes. Your word choice is brilliant—you avoid the easy traps of cliché and instead opt for striking, visceral verbs and sharp nouns that linger in the mind long after reading. The emotional payoff at the end is devastatingly beautiful; the final lines don't just conclude the poem, they resonate like a struck chime. Thank you for sharing this stunning piece of your heart with the world. It is a rare gift to read something that feels so deeply felt, so masterfully crafted, and so profoundly generous. Please keep writing and sharing your voice—it is deeply needed.