A future we can never have lurks around every corner,
taunting me,
giving me the slightest glimpse,
only to rip it out of my hands.
"No, no, that's not yours, don't touch it," it says.
I feel like I'm in a dream—a nightmare.
Life doesn't feel like life,
and everything I do doesn't have an effect.
I'm a bystander,
frozen on the outside of a moment, forced to watch.
Forced to watch you smile at her, and mess with her, and tease and blush with her.
What I would give to be in their world.
Perfect house, perfect children.
A world where there is never a cloud in the sky
or a bad thought in someone's mind.
Oh, how it haunts me.
A ghostly presence of your warmth.
I haven't felt the rays of your smile in days.
I'm getting cold, I'm freezing over.
In my mind, I'm stuck in this dark winter.
I'm cold, I'm numb, yet you...
you were thawing me out.
The ice was melting, the sun was rising in beautiful pastels.
I was going to make it out.
Break free of my own mind's chains.
Walk in the daylight.
Then the ground shook, and the sky darkened,
and the sun wasn't there anymore.
Ice creeps along the ground,
fast.
It spreads, it spreads, it spreads.
It reaches my feet,
it snakes up my legs.
The familiar pain reclaiming its old scars.
I look up at the dark sky and I close my eyes.
I still see you.
I still see a reflection of your emerald eyes.
A tears stream downward, freezing on my cheek.
The cold creeps up past my neck,
over my lips,
Frozen with the bitter taste of grief on my tongue.
I'm a statue from head to toe.
You're running on the beach, laughing, grinning.
you look at her with love in your eyes.
You are summer, I am winter.
We can never work.
Hope was what froze me.
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142,371 Literary Works • 677,483 Reviews
[italic]Review Day | October 2026[/italic]
Curiosity: First Thoughts
Heyyy emehendry!! ♡
Oh, oh we are heartbroken today?
The whole concept of ur lover creating a perfect futuree with someone else and you can't do anything about it hurts so muchhh!! The imagery used here around winter is beautiful. ŏ_ŏ
I loved how they said they were "thawed" by someone, but then froze again. This really adds meaning to the title.
The Claws: What Could Be Improved
Some lines could have been made shorter to prevent repeating the same feelings throughout the poem. Whilst the repetition of "it spreads" adds to the feeling of dread, some parts could be more subtle.ToT
Some grammar checks would help a few lines flow better.but anywayyyyy...
The Cat's Whiskers: Highlights
"You are summer, I am winter."
OMG WHAT THE ENDING?!
This simple contrast of summer and winter really sums up this poem. One person is warm, happy and full of possibilities whilst the other is stuck with the harsh reality they can't have that future.O_O
I loved the line about the sun risingg in pretty pastels. It shows us what the speaker used to have hope for and makes it worse when it goes awayyy.
After the Prowl: Final Thoughts
This was an emotional poem to read. The imagery and symbolism of seasons fit perfectly and the last line really makes you stop and thinkk. OwO
BUT,
Did they actually ever get a chance? Was there any possibility of them having that futuree? Whhyyy does the person who made them feel warm get to leave and leave them with winter??
Bro I need a minute.
~lilly ♡
Blackcat has left its pawprints.
Fantastic 😍
You are so sweet tysm!!
emehendry, this is for me a heavy work. I'll spare you the cliche of why...however, this foreboding wintery desultory disappointment - so remote from a sort of unconditioned logic, one that is part of the untainted mental machinery of untraumatised children for example, "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", perhaps - and then what I interpreted as just that returning in a form of naive, romantic excursion that is the ideal antidote. Don't get me wrong, I am a romantic with the odd brain cell active - and I believe in the true alchemy of love as part of our higher purpose but few cross the boundaries of semi infatuated attachment, perhaps I am being a bit tough here. Your language seems plain, clear but what associations and memories, experience informs them is of course, left to the imagination, which effectively universalises and makes accessible the linagery and helps the locomotion. THe words are not laden with alliteration so no hard edges or obstruction, we're free to associate and suspend belief. But I don't want to, the flow, the fear after the 'neutral observer' start makes me defensive for the 'experiencer', the beholder, and I want a happy ending, so using the climate, the ambience, the danger of the natural seasonal shift/s as the 'final' metaphor raises primordial fear. To me, it speaks of a responsibility to idealise 'shitty' situations, whether against the odds and when the 'sun shines'... we should make hay, for ourselves, for each another...but that's empathic and humanist, sensitive even...how dare I. Nice work.
Thank you so much, my writing style is like that, sometimes its hard to believe im only 12
Shocking insight for your age, keep going strong young poet.
Hi, to make things easier on myself I'll be using the S'more review method today!
Top cracker: This is a very beautifully written poem about where the narrator is pained by the fact that their (presumably) girlfriend perhaps left them for another person. The narrator cries out through this poem about how the seemingly perfect life was in his grasp yet the universe seems to have cruelly took it away and given it to another.
Chocolate bar: I love you describe everything, I can really feel the character's feelings and how heartbroken he is. It feels so gripping how you describe the emotions.
Slightly burnt marshmallow: No suggestions or at least any I feel would be helpful and not just nitpicks.
Bottom cracker: I like how engaging your poem feels especially with how you describe the emotions.
Have a good day or night!
Thank you so much!! i noticed you also read my other poem, Blue Jay, which was your favorite??
I really liked both but I love birds so Blue Jay but I'm biased X3
Most of my friends liked Miss Scarlett fair actually, Im currently working on a piece called ignorance, you should like, review it when i publish it
, also i noticed you read alot of my work, SUPER COOL, also how old r u? Im 12
Wow your 12?! Your really good at making poems I would've never guessed. I'm 14. I haven't read Miss. Scarlett Fair actually yet!
Tysm!! I really like your poem, the one about vulnerbility? (I did NOT spell that right) Anyway, thank you for reviewing my worrrkk and yeah, have a good day
Ehh, it's not that great my poem (lol)
DUDE! Its really good! Keep Writing though! U have A LOT of potential!!!! Ive been writing since like, 3rd grade maybe? Idk but trust me, I SEEE the potential in you!!!!!