sometimes the moon speaks to me

Hi there e! Good to meet you and welcome to WriterFeed! I'm just stopping by to review your poem.

So I am interpreting the poem to be about a speaker who ruminates a lot on their surroundings and their inner thoughts, especially at night, they interpret this inner-monologue to be external to their own thoughts but actually believe that the moon is the one encouraging and frustrating them.

It was a really unique take as I feel like usually the moon is somewhat romanticized when it's personified but in this poem the speaker hears sort of a darker "chanting" / "screaming" / antagonizing side to the moon too. That was a turn that I wasn't expecting.

I feel like the beginning part of the poem felt a little disjointed in some places where it was hard to understand how one line led to the next one, and felt a bit like a collage of random images / thoughts. For instance what do the lines about music have to do with the rest of the poem? As the poem got into the second half starting at "the word are an escape" the poem began to feel a bit more organized and the direction felt a bit clearer. I think that is something you could take a second look at and check out if each line contributes to the message and story you're wanting to communicate, or if some of the lines are a bit more "filler" that might be reduced or removed.

I do wonder if the poem has a central idea, or really 4 or 5 different points it is trying to make. For me the final line of the poem felt like the speaker was kind of losing it, or having delusions of grandeur to be the moon's favorite.

Overall, I'm not sure I completely grasped the meaning of the poem as a whole, but I did find it to be a very unique read and that made it enjoyable to me! Keep on writing! Glad to have another poetry person on the site!


have a good day,
alliyah

Hello

I was drawn to the imagery in your poetry and began imagining how its emotions could unfold visually from one verse to the next. Rather than limiting the idea to a single illustration, I would love to explore turning your poem into a connected visual journey that develops alongside your words.

I’m a professional commission-based artist, and I create custom paid illustrations inspired by writers’ original work. Each section of your poem could inspire a distinct scene while maintaining a consistent artistic style and atmosphere throughout the project.

If you would like to explore this idea, I would be happy to discuss your vision, share examples of my previous work, and consider an approach that fits your budget.

Discord: inksbyeve
Instagram: @inkkfinity

Best wishes,
Eve

I love how you use music as a gateway into exploring the mind. There's a contradiction in how music allows the mind to wander while simultaneously anchoring you to the present moment. I also like how you gradually move from describing the beauty of ordinary moments to exploring your relationship with writing and the sense of control it gives you.

The repetition of control and selfish caught my attention. I think the structure does a wonderful job of communicating the agitation of the mind, almost as though we're witnessing the thoughts rather than simply reading about them.

Your moon imagery is also striking, especially the idea of something being painfully beautiful despite its imperfections. And that final line! "She says I'm her favorite." I find it rather intriguing. There's something comforting yet slightly unsettling about it, perhaps because I can't quite wrap my head around it.

I'd be interested in hearing more about the relationship between the moon and you. Is she a companion, a reflection of you, or something else entirely?

I think there's an interesting psychological dimension to this piece that I'd love to explore further. Or perhaps I'm wrong, but I feel there's more beneath the surface that you'd have to elaborate on, and I'd genuinely love to hear it.

I also appreciate the ambiguity you've maintained throughout the piece. You leave enough room for the reader to form their own interpretations without necessarily providing all the answers. I wouldn't want you to explain everything away, but I must admit, I'm curious about the thoughts behind some of these