Growing up

Hello

I was drawn to the imagery in your poetry and began imagining how its emotions could unfold visually from one verse to the next. Rather than limiting the idea to a single illustration, I would love to explore turning your poem into a connected visual journey that develops alongside your words.

I’m a professional commission-based artist, and I create custom paid illustrations inspired by writers’ original work. Each section of your poem could inspire a distinct scene while maintaining a consistent artistic style and atmosphere throughout the project.

If you would like to explore this idea, I would be happy to discuss your vision, share examples of my previous work, and consider an approach that fits your budget.

Discord: inksbyeve
Instagram: @inkkfinity

Best wishes,
Eve

Anneong!! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Am moon!!!


Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
I really like how you showed both sides of growing up. The first stanza captures the hurtful words adults sometimes say to children, while the second reveals what the child is actually feeling underneath all those expectations.The ending is especially powerful. It makes us think about how easily a child's feelings can be overlooked when everyone expects them to be mature.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I have no suggestions for now but in this line

if you could watched

the weight i carry
underneath this dripping gold

I really like this poem for the perspectives! The first stanza seems to come from the perspective of the parent while the second comes from the child. I also found this poem quite relatable.

The first section is a parent scolding their child, telling them that they are irresponsible and lazy, dramatic and immature. Some of these criticisms were straight up hurtful, things a parent should never say to their child, “you can’t do anything right,” (something I overlooked is how it is never outright stated that the adult speaker is the parent of the child. This could be a reference to how older generations look down of younger ones and blame children for not being the most idealistic.)

“It’s because of that phone”

I’ve personally heard this phrase so, so many times and it’s exhausting. Knowing that somebody else relates is nice. ^^

Something I really liked about this poem was the decision to keep the age, “you’re __ years old” and other’s name, “why can’t you be more like ___?” Blank. While this might’ve been a way to preserve your identity, this also allows for readers to relate by inserting their own age in, and choose somebody in their life that they compare themself to.

“i am the adult and you are the child.
grow up and mature.

life’s not fair”

These lines are contradicting, and I found this really interesting! Children shouldn’t be told to mature, and telling a child to do so is a bit contradicting, trying to belittle them into children while asking for them to stay mature like an adult. The last line is one of my least favorite phrases of all time, so I like that you put it there because almost everybody’s heard that exact phrase. “Life’s not fair.”

“if you could see

how disciplined i am

the weight i carry

underneath this dripping gold”

This portion seems to be about the child saying that she does far more than her parent(s) sees, and suffers far more than they give her credit for. The phrase “the weight i carry underneath this dripping gold” seems a bit strange at first, but I interpreted it as the child being told that she “has everything” or “has it easy”, while she quietly suffers, unacknowledged. Personally, I also thought that this line could relate to either a very academic child(who might seem to have everything easy and perfect but hurts underneath) or a wealthy child(who is told they have everything despite the pressure they get from their parents). The line “dripping gold” implies something valuable, like knowledge or literal money, but it also seems to represent the heavy burden the narrator struggles under.

I also interpreted this portion of your stanza as a reference to depression! Living takes a lot more work and discipline than it seems, and to those suffering from depression, even the smallest little things like showering, eating, or waking up can seem like a difficult chore. The “if only you could see how disciplined i am” could be the child lamenting her efforts to seem “normal”, as somebody ill with depression, for her difficulty completing simple tasks. The child might barely manage to stay “normal” and blend in and still be asked to be more.


“understand that i see

the problem

when i look in the mirror”

This portion is about introspection, where the narrator explains that she can see her own flaws. This could also be interpreted as physical flaws, but I think that’s unlikely. This part also makes me think about self-loathing, in a way.


“if you could watched

while i grew up

because i was ‘so mature’”

I think there’s a small error in the first line, where it says “if you could watched”, I believe that you meant “if you could have watched”

This section implies that the narrator was considered mature when she was younger. That reminds me of when children are forced to act mature as adults at a young age, leading for them to behave immaturely like children long after they reach adulthood. While the first stanza implies that the “child” is the age of a child, it is also possible that the child is the age of an adult, though if they’re still by their parents, this isn’t unlikely.


“i am a shameful child

—i am not viewed human”

These last few words show guilt or shame. The child might feel ashamed for who she is, for being “lazy” and “difficult”. Or she might consider herself to be a disappointment for not being able to meet the expectations of others. “i am not viewed human” implies that the child(or others) doesn’t hold herself to the same standards as a human. For example, her parents or peers may expect a prodigy out of her, or other feats that she isn’t capable of as a living, breathing human who needs to eat and sleep and take care of herself. Another interpretation of this could be that the child feels like an outsider, like she doesn’t belong among other humans. In my opinion, this reminds me of how some parents expect their children to be perfect test-taking robots who are obedient and independent(yet dependent on their parents).

Overall, your poem seems to be about the bad relationship between adults and children. There are also many tell-tale signs of mental health issues—being on the phone too much, being “lazy”/procrastinating, being told that she’s immature, considering herself to be immature, looking in the mirror and seeing flaws, feeling guilty or ashamed of who she is.

I found your poem really relatable and I don’t really have much criticisms of it. Keep writing! I really really like your style and I would love to keep reading your poetry!

Thank you for reading my analysis, and remember to treat yourself like a human, eat enough, get enough sleep, and know that you are enough <3

I'm actually an only child so this should be interesting.

I'll be using the S'more review method today!

Top cracker: In this poem the narrator is (presumably) remembering their childhood growing up as an only child. They seem rather bitter as well.

Chocolate bar: I love how you described the pressures parents put on their children and then how they say so many contradicting things (I think you could add more examples of that) sometimes they want you to leave and fly away and then sometimes they want you to stay a child. I thought you wanted me to grow up and be more independent so why are you still treating me like a young child?! Do you not trust me?!

Slightly burnt marshmallow: I'm unsure if there is a typo here but it confused me a little

—i am not viewed human

WOAH, girl i just want to say, I have read a lot of your work. the only thing i have to say, STUNNING absolutely stunning. The weight of words that parents say can have such an impact on kids, and I understand completely.

f you could see
how disciplined i am
the weight i carry
underneath this dripping gold