*This fanfic is under my folder “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.writerfeed.com/topic/117842-my-character-designs-lt-33-3?start=210. Sam Williams and Sally Dawn are both Creepypasta characters that already have their own canon/online backstories, but this is part of my AU for them. Enjoy!*
“I swear I didn’t fake this photo, it’s real! I don’t even have the skills to do that!” Sam cried out.
He was showing his parents the pictures of the strange shadows that he saw in their house, just like Sally told him to. All of the photos were blurry except for one. One that showed a black claw reaching out of the slightly open bathroom door, illuminated by the flash of Sam’s phone. It was not a trick of light, but very clearly shown.
“It’s probably a trick of light. You know how scary ordinary things look in the dark.” His Dad shrugged.
No! Sam had specifically told them before that they were real and not a trick of light at all!
“Are you afraid of this house? It’s just old. There’s nothing wrong with it.” His Mom said.
Was he afraid? Of course! There were monsters and all sorts of other creatures lurking in the darkness, waiting to take him away and his parents weren’t listening to him!
“Old? It’s not just old, it’s haunted! An actual ghost told me to take these photos so that we could all leave! Why don’t you believe me? Why-“
“Maybe it’s just Halloween getting to you. It doesn’t come until-“
“No Dad, it’s not about Halloween! I’m being serious! This-“
“Enough talking back.”
“I’m not-“
“You heard your father.” Mom said.
They both went off to make breakfast and Sam was left with his phone, with the photos they didn’t believe.
How could they not believe it?
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142,301 Literary Works • 677,153 Reviews
These fanfics connect to this:
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Sally and Laughing Jack have an interesting conversation
A car pulls up
Sally makes a decision
Sally appears before the boy
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Late into the night
Sam’s search throughout the house
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Sam is nearly dragged into the abyss
Lazari thinks on it
Sam’s nightmare
AH okay, I think I remember this part of the story, Sam trying to convince his parents.
OH myyyy ok as a parent I would also be spooked by this and trying to find a different explanation. But why… would my child do something like this? Maybe you could reiterate what led to this situation? So we had a bit more context. It’s been a long while since the last section in this story after all ^^Or wait, in the last story, he said that not even photos convinced his parents? So I guess THIS is that part of the story, showing what you meant by that last time?
I find the beginning dialogue a bit overwrought. As in, why would the parents even think their child faked the photos? Wouldn’t they immediately go to the idea that someone ELSE gave him the “fake” photos?
Aww you can tell how desperate he is to make his parents understand but he doesn’t have the words and the experience to know what would work on them q__q
Ahhh that was so frustrating to read but so realistic in the end!
Thank you for reading/your advice!
Yes, it’s very frustrating. :<
I enjoyed the concept. The parents' dismissal adds a frustrating quality to the scene, which aligns well with the premise. However, the dialogue often feels as though it is explaining the story to the reader rather than resembling natural conversation. Rather than relying on constant exposition, the premise could be allowed to develop through subtext, giving the scene a more suspenseful tone.
The photograph also presents a slight inconsistency. It is described as clearly depicting a supernatural black claw, yet the parents react as though its nature is ambiguous. If the image is truly undeniable, the parents' skepticism becomes difficult to find plausible. If the intention is to maintain a sense of uncertainty regarding the photograph's true nature, then the parents' reactions should reflect that ambiguity, allowing the explanation to feel more reasonable and the supernatural implications more unsettling.
Thank you for this read.
they think it's photoshopped.
Thx for reading!
Understood. I focused on the "trick of light" guess by his father. Thank you for the correction.
yw. I will make that more clear next time.