I never imagined..

Hello!

This poem is impactful and makes me feel deeply for your pain.

that my wrist would become a space of scars,
and my white floor turn crimson.

This poem talks about self-harm and I want to make sure, are you safe right now? Talk to me when things get bad, I'm a good listener.

Back to the poem, I think that stanza was my favourite from yours because it's shocking and it makes me feel terrible to see you suffer. Turning a white clean floor into a bloodied mess is a vivid and emotional way of painting your pain. Transforming the wrist into a place of scars makes the reader see through the suffering that you go through.

The repetition of I don't know what's happening is painfully relatable. Sometimes we feel so intensely and we don't know for what reason but we just do. The depression, self-hatred, and pain that many people go through is a voice that is cutthroat and brutal.

This is my favourite work of yours because it's short, concise, and impactful. The length of it makes all the words hit even more harder. Thank you for creating this and I hope the best for you!

Guess what? It's AJ!
moon. Are you doing okay? The past few poems I've read by you have been talking about self harm. I'm someone who struggled with this for far too long and if you are struggling please reach out.

Review though. This is a really short and simple poem. But it's such a gorgeous and vivid image.
I love the feeling of confusion and helplessness that come with this.

I never ever imagined
that my blush would turn into a flush
and my sweat into tears.
I don't know what is happening.

Starting this stanza with "I never imagined" is a really powerful choice.
I like the idea of a small blush turning into a full flush across the narrator's face.
And not knowing what is happening. Now the reader is hooked. You've left us with something vague and we want to know why the narrator is confused and sad.

I never ever imagined
that my wrist would become a space of scars,
and my white floor turn crimson.
I don't know what is happening.

In one of my earlier reviews I mentioned that imagery was your strength and you're really playing into that here. A wrist becoming "a space of stars" and a white floor turning crimson. With blood, I'd assume. You repeat the line, "I don't know what is happening." and that solidifies the feeling of helplessness that the narrator feels. As a reader we feel that now. I do think that you could change the word "turn" in the second line. It would flow better as "turned"

I never ever imagined
that my heart would turn into fractured glass,
and my spring life into a freezing monsoon.
I don't know what is happening.

Imagery! I really like all the ideas here, fractured glass, freezing monsoon. And ending it with, I don't know what is happening. Perfect.

Overall, I really like the ideas here and imagery. It's a really beautiful poem. Only thing is small word choice things.

Keep living and writing!
AJ

Good evening! My name is Jade and I'm going to review your poem today. The title caught my attention

that my blush would turn into a flush

I really like this line in the first stanza. It does an amazing job of setting the scene, and has a lovely ring to it. I just really like how you set the imagery and tone through one quick, well-written phrase!

and my white floor turn crimson.

I really like how this line builds off the previous one, but it does disrupt the flow of the poem slightly. It may be because of the tenses used. You used would become so maybe using would/could turn or even just turns/turned. I believe that would add a more cohesive line that has such devastating imagry.

I really like the last stanza, especially the image of spring in constrast to a monsoon; it shows so much about the frigid, sadness within. One thing, and this may just be a stylistic choice of mine, but if I were you I'd have each stanza begin with the full title I never imagined and have the last stanza start with I never ever imagined. Or vice versa and have the last stanza be the title and the only line that says I never imagined . I feel this could emphasize the conclusion of your poem and break up the repetitive nature of the first two -if that is something you want to change.

However, that could totally just be me. Overall, I really liked your poem and am looking forward to reading more from you!

Jade