I would die for you..

Hi! Just going to jump right in a say this piece is quite nice; however, I do have a few critiques. Please don't take these to heart because I can be a little harsh - just a warning in advance. I think for this poem, you really have nailed the purpose with a hammer - it's very clear and we can understand what the whole poem is about. My critique would be that you've made it too clear.

This may just be a personal preference, but I believe you could do a lot of refining on these sentences to make them shorter. The emotional punch of this poem would be much harder if you put in all of these feelings into the least amount of words possible - or just generally shorter. This leads me to my second critique which is a bit connected.

You are telling the audience too much. You can clearly describe the situation; however, part of poetry is letting the audience imagine. I think refining phrases like;

If I had to be in a dark room to have you, I would happily stay in that darkness because every time I close my eyes, I see your shining eyes and bright smile.

into more realistic situations would erase the vague cliche bits and truly tap into the potential of this poem, really allowing people from all sorts of different situations to understand it.

Overall, I do like the poem - don't get me wrong. You have established the poem's purpose and the sentimental feeling along with it. My biggest critique would be your just being too literal, vague, and cliche. I'm really sorry if this is too harsh or critical, I just think utilizing more raw authentic words could really transform this artwork. I wish you the best of luck. Keep writing!

Beautiful piece, shows what love truly is, and I truly think it is pretty good.

If I had to be in a dark room to have you, I would happily stay in that darkness because every time I close my eyes, I see your shining eyes and bright smile.
If I had to live without oxygen to have you , I would quietly live only with your memories in my heart because they make my heart breathe.

I do think you used to word 'because' a little much right here in comparison to the length of the piece, but I do really like this line

If I had to stop loving you for your happiness, I would rather close my eyes with your unforgettable memories and leave this world. Instead of stopping myself from loving you.

especially where you said 'instead of stopping myself from loving you' because that takes it to the next level.
great job, keep up the good work
-PikeFisher4Life