My beautiful

Hi Moon! Your poetry and writing never cease to amaze me. I just have some things:

If poetry was a person, I would say it was him.

This kinda confused me but again idioms and metaphors were never my strength. I’m guessing you’re saying that you love poetry and you also love him.

I love how creative you are. I like this:

I would still choose him because he is my moon. Well, both of them are far away from me.

I like how you say “ well both of them are far away.” It’s funny and sad at the same time. Thanks for entertaining all of us at YWS!

we meet again! that wasn't long was it... you appear to have many works in the green room so you'll see me a bit here on out.

If poetry was a person, I would say it was him.

okay people talk about hooking the reader in and all that hoopla but dang, this got me. i love metaphors and personification so i very much enjoyed this line.

Well, both of them are far away from me.

this is like a gut punch, because you realize that the comparison makes sense because they're both just out of reach. very emotional.

I would still look at his gorgeous dark eyes with little sparkles in them.

i feel we could re-write this line like so:

I would still look at his gorgeous, bottomless eyes, dotted with tiny glimmers.

it's a little more poetic this way, and flows a little better. just a suggestion!

anyway, that's all i have for you!

~yuuki the dinosoor