Sometimes,
judgments are so true
that they hurt me more
than lies ever could.
A stranger can say one sentence,
and somehow,
it finds the exact place
I've been trying not to touch.
It hurts
when their words sound
like thoughts I've whispered
to myself in silence.
But judging someone
and hurting someone
are not the same thing.
Sometimes,
people speak what they see,
without knowing
how deeply it reaches.
And maybe that's the cruelest part
not that they wanted to hurt me,
but that they were right
about something
I was still trying
to make peace with...
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142,247 Literary Works • 677,082 Reviews
Heyo moon1! AJ again here for a review! This is super relatable. Being judged and a stranger's one sentence is what hits. They didn't mean to but it hurt. Being judged is something so many of us can relate to and you've managed to put it into words better than I've ever been able to. Into the review though!
Straight into it. You don't ease us into the poem, you drop us it. The double spacing you're using throughout is an amazing way to communicate this feeling.
I do think that you can cut the can in the first line. It could be "A stranger says one sentence,". I think it would help it flow better.
This is all too true. When they've hit what you really feel. I think the line breaks here are a little weird, but I can't think of a better way to put them.
Okay, I have an objection here, and yes I may be stepping out of line. But judging truly hurts people. many times it is the same thing. Maybe this is what the narrator believes. That's all I'm going to say here.
I think here you could go without the line break between knowing and how. It messes with the rhythm. I like to think of line breaks as the speaker taking a breath. If you wouldn't take a breath there then don't put a line break. There are some exceptions to that though.
Whoo wee. This is the hardest hitting part of it. I almost wonder if at this point if these aren't judgements anymore. If it's something more like truths that the narrator doesn't want to admit.
Overall, this is pretty good. I think in all, your weakness is your line breaks. It's something I've noticed throughout.
Keep living and writing!
AJ
Thank you
I really liked this poem, moon 🐟 It's very relatable~
Am glad
I love this poem because it’s so relatable, I feel like everyone has experienced something like this at least once in their life.
The feeling when someone criticizes you on something you’ve been thinking for a while can hurt but I feel like it can also get you thinking, or push you to improve.
I also like the first four lines very much, like draftingdreams said, it’s a very good hook.
I also loved how you formed this piece kind of like a thought itself (slow, uncertain, spaced out), and intentional or not, it contributes a lot to the meaning.
Overall very good job, and have a good day.
Thank you so much. Check my other poems too
Ok so this is about a really deep feeling that most people don't know how to explain. It is about how much it hurts when someone tells you a truth about yourself that you weren't ready to hear. The short lines make it feel like someone is thinking out loud in their room. It's simple wording, which makes it easy for anyone to read. It's deeply relatable and easy to understand.
Sometimes,
people speak what they see,
without knowing
how deeply it reaches.
This is a beautiful unspoken truth on how sometimes people don't really know when they are hurting someone. This line is very well written.
This first line is a beautiful hook and the idea of truths hurting more than lies brings in the idea of white lies. Overall, this is really good.
Thank you so much. Check my poems too
This is super good! It is relatable and true. I love the spacing and word choices!