If you are the moon, I don’t want to be the Earth; I want to be your sky.
If you are a book, I don’t want to be the quill; I want to be your pages.
If you are a tree, I don’t want to be the rain; I want to be your branches
If you are the sun, I don’t want to be a sunflower; I want to burn in your heat.
If you are a bird, I don’t want to be the horizon; I want to be your wings.
My dear,
I am so selfish that if you cannot be mine, I want to be your death...
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142,422 Literary Works • 677,767 Reviews
Heyooooo
This was a cute poem! VERY romantic lolllll
Does he know about these?????
ANYWAYS, back to the review...
I didn't really like how it was being selfish, maybe just because I'm a Christian and I don't like to be selfish. Though I do understand that you want to be with your lover. And in a way I can relate to it. Just because you want to be with them rather than just standing there on the side.
I liked the image of this part. It was cute and I love birds!!
I feel like this seems weird...
I like the ending a little, (besides the selfish part) but it was cute.
Keep it up!
Your BESTIE & FAVORITE READER
~ Jaye.
Tq~
Hello moon1! It's AJ here for a review again! This is a really short and sweet poem and I love the idea here.
Ooo. You want to be close to them. Romance? I am a little confused by the "your sky". How is the sky the moon's?
You don't want to be creating them. You want to be them? You want to be in them? Look, I suck with romance but I am a little confused by this line.
Okay, so it looks like you want to be a part of them. You want to be close with them. You don't want to be the rain. Again, I'm honestly kinda confused.
This is really reinforcing the idea of being close with them. You want to be a part of them.
You don't want them to be coming towards you.
Oh I love this line. You have to be a part of them. You have to be with them.
Overall, I don't think I had much to say on this. It's pretty short and sweet. I'm kinda confused by the book and tree line but overall it's good!
Keep living and writing!
AJ
This is awesome. Like literally I can't critique it. I love how in every line we can really feel how you want to be apart of the person or thing, instead of just something associated with it. And the last line,
shows that if you can't have the person, then no one can. That you want to be intertwined into the person's being and soul, so even if they leave you, it's harder to forget you and the memories around you. This was beautiful, please keep writing my friend. Great work!!!!